Who doesn't love food? Let me rephrase that, who doesn't love take-out, restaurant, or fast food? Always, I go through the struggle of wanting to save money, but never wanting the abundance of food I have sitting in my house. I constantly crave Chipotle, cheese fries, and endless amounts of candy. For some reason, instead of buying similar things while grocery shopping, I'd rather just waste my time and money buying the actual things. As a food lover, I've worked in food service for a large chunk of my life. It's so much fun and we have a lot of secrets that people may not know.
Here I am to spill some (eh...lukewarm?) tea with all of you:
1. If we like you, you'll get more.
Yes, it's true. Maybe we'll give you an extra scoop of water ice or fill up your french fries enough for them to fall out of the container. Maybe you'll get the extra ice you asked for in your soda. Maybe your child will get a free lollipop. If you're a constant customer who is always nice to us, we will surely repay you in some way.
2. No one spits in your food.
If so, you should run far, far away because that's not normal. Contrary to popular belief, we have no desire to spit on your food if you're rude to us. That's gross on our part and yours. I wouldn't want to watch someone eat a bite of my saliva, that's not revenge for me.
3. We greatly appreciate tips, except for nickels and pennies.
To everyone who tips their servers, thank you. It's never something we would ask for, but being tipped feels like we've done our job to the fullest it could be done. That being said, please do not throw your pennies in there because you don't feel like holding the change or because you think it's funny.
4. It is not cute when you send your kids up to ask for free things.
Yes, kids are cute. That does not mean you use them to get you free food. We see you lurking in the corner while they look back at you for the answer to every question we ask them. You ain't slick.
5. We do not want to be your babysitters.
Leaving your kids completely alone while you converse with friends or make a phone call isn't a good idea. Assuming we are just going to stop our jobs and watch your children also isn't a good idea. Of course, as an instinct, we will keep an eye on them, but if work gets busy and we have other tasks, we cannot just scoop up your kid and sit them in the back with us. Also, why bring your kids if you aren't able to watch them?
6. We don't believe in the "It's their job anyway" BS.
We get it, it's a restaurant, we clean up your plates and mess. Yes, that is our job. No, it's really not fair that your child just made a smiley face out of ketchup on the food counter and you laughed and walked away. Playing with salt and pepper and not wiping it up (at least onto the floor so we can sweep it up later) isn't really nice. Leaving tables of food on benches isn't nice either. Yes, we're going to clean it up, and no, you can't complain if your warm, one-sip-left Gatorade got thrown away while you were too busy doing something else.
7. We have a bunch of recipes no one knows about.
What, you think being around food all day doesn't give us good ideas? We come up with the craziest things, but also the most delicious. Who knows, maybe some end up on the menu...
Oops! I spilled my tea all over.
