Millennial Probz: FOMO In Dating

Millennial Probz: FOMO In Dating

FOMO is total crap and we need to move away from this lifestyle.
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FOMO. We’ve all been there, whether we think so or not. It’s always been there, but social media has definitely made the concept a bit more evident. FOMO is the Fear Of Missing Out. It is a compulsive concern that one might miss out on a particular event, experience, etc. This desire for experiences is usually fueled by a 140-character Tweet about how “insane” last weekend was. It can be triggered by a “candid” photo on Instagram of people laughing at a party. FOMO can be anything related to Friday night parties or getting that next hot date. What triggers FOMO? Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman demonstrated something called loss aversion.

Loss aversion is the fixation that people have with refusing losses and acquiring gains instead. There is also another theory called “The Paradox of Choice.” Basically, this says that when we have several options, we are often less satisfied with the one we actually choose. Psychology says, in layman’s terms, we just hate to miss out on anything. Here’s the thing, though: FOMO is total crap and we need to move away from this lifestyle.

I'm a 21-year-old college student. I have Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and basically every other form of social media (insert shameless self-promotion here). So yes, I have seen my share of engagement posts and party photos. I’ve had a few serious boyfriends in my lifetime and a few guys that I’ve “talked” to. Both of these experiences have led to FOMO. For the longest time now, I have been single (in case you couldn’t tell from several of my other articles). It drives me crazy when I see people in great relationships that they are happy in start self-sabotaging because they are experiencing the infamous FOMO. I've been there, but I'd like to think I've outgrown it. These people are afraid they’re missing out on this lifestyle experience of being single and going out (or going home) with whoever they want.

Here’s the thing, for those of you in this situation: being single is not what it is always cracked up to be. Yeah, you can do whatever you want with anyone you want (with consent), but at the end of the day, you aren’t going home to someone who cherishes you. If you are in a loving relationship you should not be worried about missing out on something. In any healthy relationship, your significant other should allow you to have these experiences of going out with your friends and having fun. You shouldn’t be confined to some cage. However, your loyalty should stay with them on these nights (unless you come up with some other agreement, but that’s all y’all).

FOMO is promoting comparison in our lives. The way we compare ourselves to others as often as we do, can’t be healthy. The concept is completely irrational because we’re bound to miss out on events and people. We need to stop focusing so much on what we don’t have and keep in mind what we do. Practicing gratitude for the good in our lives can be a good way to start this process of moving away from FOMO. Learning to accept “good enough” needs to be an option for us. We, as a society, need to stop trying to maximize the best of every situation because we won’t stop there. We will continue to try and find the next best thing and is that any way to live-Jumping from situation to situation or relationship to relationship? If we continue to live this way, where and when will we stop?

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Smar

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Here's What Happens When All Of Your Friends Have Babies

All of my friends back home are married with children. No, really, they are.

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Over the past few months, three of my friends have shared their pregnancy news with me, and I couldn't be more thrilled. Baby news always stirs up a range of emotions for me. I'm excited and crying happy tears (no joke, I started to cry when my best friend told me and showed me her ultrasound).

Being "Auntie Meg" brings me such great joy. You see, I absolutely adore children, especially my friend's kiddos. They can easily brighten up my day with their giggles, love you, and their goodbye kisses & waves. I absolutely love getting to be "Auntie Meg"; it could potentially be my favorite role to fill.

I don't think I've ever loved human beings more than I love these babies. These are kiddos I would do almost anything for; they truly have my whole heart and I couldn't be more thankful for each and every one of them. I've loved getting to watch my friends grow into incredible parents.

I love getting to be one of the biggest cheerleaders for my friends and their kids. Listen, I can't wait for the day when they are older and are asking to come over more and spend time doing fun things with auntie Meg. I can't wait to watch them grow and I can't wait to be able to come alongside them and be a shoulder to cry on and one of the loudest voices cheering them on (Next to mom and dad, of course).

While there is just so much good about your friends growing up and having children of their own, if you are not careful, it can also fuel a person's self-doubt.

It can bring up questions like, "am I good enough?", "what is wrong with me?", "why am I not where they are at?" I would be lying if I said that I have never thought or felt these things, but here's the thing: you are good enough, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and their path is not your path; you will get there when you get there.

Those things are so important to remember in times when you begin to doubt yourself or your worth.

Believe me, you are good enough, there is nothing wrong with you, and that is not the path you need to be on at the moment. This is a great time for you to focus on you and the things you want out of life. What are your goals? What is on your bucket list? Just because you don't have the things your friends have, doesn't make your life any less fulfilled than theirs is. Your life is just as wonderful and fulfilling as theirs is, just in different ways.

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