I wrote this poem during a particularly difficult time in my life. It's about the intense anxiety and helplessness that I felt during my not-too-infrequent panic attacks. I use fire as a metaphor for both enlightenment or goodness, and chaos. The majority of this poem is centered on an extreme disparity between perception and reality based on expectations. This symbolizes anxiety and its ability to severely warp an individual's perception of their experiences.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness
Candlelight graced the walls of the hallway
Every hair on my body stood straight up
My thoughts were racing each other through the tiny traffic lanes in my brain

Everything was perfectly still
My footsteps were measured and silent
Deafeningly silent

All at once, everything fell apart
I dropped my light
I held a candle in my hand and then I didn’t
I can’t even handle carrying a candle properly
I can’t handle anything

The hallway went up in flames immediately
The walls were caving in
Everything around me was on fire
I couldn’t breathe through the smoke
There was no point in trying to get help
There was no point in doing anything
There was no point in living for the little time I had left

Then I saw her face
How did she find me?
How is she here?
She took my hand and told me that everything would be alright
How could she say that?
We were going to die

I cried hysterically in her arms
Could she not see the fire that was burning my entire life down?

Then she whispered in my ear
We’re okay
This hallway is made of stone

There is nothing to burn