What It's Like Being Unhappy And How To Fix It

What It's Like Being Unhappy And How To Fix It

But here's the thing, don't we deserve better?

Lately, I've been thinking about people and being unhappy. I'm a people watcher. I observe almost everyone. I know it sounds creepy but I think about that bruise on that woman's cheek. I wonder if it got there by accident or on purpose.

I wonder why people stay in unhappy situations for so long. For example, take domestic abuse. I lived in that environment and I always wondered why don't you just leave? I know I sound hypocritical but I was there, in that same position, and I left. It hurt and it was so hard but I did it. I found a way.

Or the girl who stays in the bad relationship? Why? Just leave. If you aren't happy, go. End things. It's better for both parties. I can see that unhappiness weighs on the people I watch and the people I know.

I see it in their eyes and in the way they move. I see that desperate glean in their eyes. I also know that feeling of being in a terrible, cruel relationship. You want to leave so badly but then the unhappiness tells you, you aren't good enough to get more and to "power through," that things will get better.

But they don't get better and your unhappiness grows.

But here's the thing, don't we deserve better? Why should we stay unhappy? I decided to change things. I left my home. Then I left my ex behind. The unhappiness of everything that happened choked my voice down and I couldn't remember what I liked. I didn't know who I was. I left and began to regain who I was.

I know one thing someone I love struggles with is weight. It brings him extreme unhappiness. I don't try to understand his pain because I'm tiny and I always have been. I don't try to relate because it minimizes his feelings.

He sees something completely different from me. He sees a huge man, who is so overweight. The truth is, he isn't. He's very fit, way more than I ever will be. His weight brings him this unwavering unhappiness that affects his self-esteem.

To help alleviate that, every day I tell him how handsome he is and how attractive I find him. I tell him when he feels or thinks something negative, replace that negative with a positive. I may not understand his struggle exactly, but I do know what it's like to have negative thoughts about oneself. I would think and say terrible things about myself, but that was only dragging me down.

Now, I tell him to do what I did. Every day, I looked in the mirror and told myself that I was good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. Soon, the words sunk in and I started believing it.

I wholly believe in mind over matter. It changed my life, and I let go of the unhappiness. I believed I was good enough, smart enough, and pretty enough. And I still do.

One thing people know about me is that I'm blunt, almost rudely so. I have no filter and say what comes to my mind. It started because I used to hold my thoughts, feelings, and ideas back. One day, I just got fed up and started telling people exactly how I felt. It lifted some more of my unhappiness from my heart.

Lately, my job has been bringing me a lot of unhappiness. Things changed in the past few months. I used to love my job and everything about it, but now I dread it. So, what am I doing about my unhappiness?

I talked to my boss and we are trying to work things out. If I don't feel happy by the time school starts, I'll start looking for a new job. If something doesn't serve a purpose and fulfill you in the way you want, you have to change it because no one will do it for you.

If you want to leave your job, do it. If you stayed in a job that took you nowhere, leave and find the job you love. After all, you'll be doing it your whole life, so you better make sure it gives you the things you want.

Another thing that has been brining me unhappiness is my relationships. I've been pretty mum about it, but I want more. I want to move forward in life and it's not happening. If you know anything about me, its the fact that I can't stay still for too long. I have a wild heart. I'm a wanderer.

I need progression. I need fulfillment. I'm not getting it. This unhappiness I need to change and I'm working on it. Each day, I move closer to shedding the unhappiness my relationships bring because the parties involved talked about it with me and we are taking steps to resolve it. I want to have a family of my own some day, ya know? I can't stand here and wait forever.

It's never too late to leave and regain that happiness that you deserve. I evaluate every day the things that are making me happy and the things that aren't.

Removing the unhappiness takes time. It's not a quick process but it can be done. Step by step, you can be happy, you just have to stay positive and work on it. Before you know it, you'll be happy again.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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If You are A Runner, You Will Understand These 10 Things

No one understands a "crazy" like a fellow "crazy" runner.

I am a cross country and track distance runner and the things we experience no one but runners will understand. Being a runner is more than a hobby; it’s a lifestyle. There is an unsaid community that distance runners are apart of, it's kind of its own culture. So this article is dedicated to all you "crazy" distance runners. If you are a runner, you will relate to these 10 things.

1. We are adrenaline junkies.

We crave that post-race high. That feeling when you get a PR (personal record for nonrunners) and no one can bring you down. After you cross that finish line, you walk away feeling unstoppable. This kind of high is something so pure and indescribable you feel on top of the world. No one or nothing can replace this.

2. We push our bodies to the breaking point.

We push and push our bodies then coach yells "Dig deep!" You find this strength in your bones and your soul you never knew you had. At times, it feels as if your ripping your body apart.

3. Ohhh, the carbs.

This really is a positive to running....carb loading. We love our pasta parties with plates full of pasta and way too much bread.

4. We have a crazy amount of water bottles.

We get so many water bottles for gifts because no one knows what to get runners. However, we are the cheapest dates.

5. We have a high pain tolerance.

During a race, if something bends in your ankle or crackles in your knee, you do not stop. At all costs, you finish the race, I mean, unless there's a bone sticking out, but the coach would say walk it off. After running 3.1 miles up crazy hills and a rough terrain, our bodies have been sacrificed to the running gods. You ask yourself "how badly does this hurt?"

6. The sweat.

After long runs in the blistering heat, it looks like you just took a shower. Some people think it is gross but low-key, we judge who worked hardest by the sweat on their back.

7. If you're on a team you have truly seen each other at your worst.

After a race or a hard workout when you have "drained the tank," as a team you walk to your waters together breathing heavy. You scream on the sidelines at each other when you see him/her getting weak. You stand right next to your best friend as you puke your guts out.

8. The bus rides.

There is no way to describe the nerves on the way to a race or the laughs and memories made. There is no way to describe the silence after a long day of running. Point is, you're together and those moments you will never forget. This is something that you carry with you forever.

9. Sitting down after a long run.

Oh, the feeling of gaining feeling in your legs once you finally sit after 8 miles. Now, the getting up part is a different story.

10. We are damn proud to be runners.

I am a runner, it is my passion and my love. You get out of this sport what you put in. We have put our blood, sweat, and tears into this sport. We pride our selves in saying we have done the unimaginable and the unthinkable. However, at times we can be humble so we won't boost. On a daily basis, we do something someone else did not have the guts today. We are runners and there is nothing else we would rather be.

Cover Image Credit: Jenn Werges

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Games You Should Never Play Part 2

There are many reasons why someone would find themselves up at odd hours of the night communing with spirits.

What attracts us to the paranormal? Is it the thrill of coming face to face with something you can't explain? Is it because you want to face your fears and survive? Is it because you don't think anything paranormal is real and want to test your beliefs? There are many reasons why someone would find themselves up at odd hours of the night communing with spirits. It's quite interesting to see how over the centuries these legends or 'games' have continued to capture our human interest.

  1. The 11 Miles Ritual Are you in need of something? Do you want to drive on a dark desolate road? Do you want to possibly encounter various monsters? Then this is the right game for you. This ritual is to be performed alone in your vehicle. You are to think of the thing you desire as you drive. This is the most important part, you have to drive around until you find a road that goes for 11 miles. You should get a feeling an know when it's the right road. You're supposed to have the radio and heat off before you start as well. Then all you have to do is drive through the 11 mile stretch of road. The catch is you have to go no more than 30, so it takes more time to get to your destination. If you make it you win. The thing you desire is supposed to come to you as long as the ritual is done correctly. This sounds pretty easy, but many accounts of playing the games have lead to random vehicle malfunctions, the air turning ice cold, mysterious beings coming toward the roadway, and even total car failure.
  2. The Closet Game This is a game that I especially don't suggest doing because the whole premise of the game is to summon a demon. All you'll need for the game is a bedroom with a closet, a book of matches, and the cover of nightfall. You may also do this ritual with a partner if you choose. Make sure you have all the lights in the room turned off and cover the windows if there are any so no light can enter the room. Enter the closet and stand toward the door with the matches in hand. To start, hold one of the matches and say 'show me the light, or leave me in darkness.' Listen for a moment and if you begin to hear whispering light the match, the match may also light on its own. Be sure to light the match quickly, and not to turn around or you may be trapped by the demon. Keep the match lit and slowly exit the closet. Do not look inside! Shut the door while the match is still lit to end the game.
  3. The Hosting Game If you like a good party you're sure to love this game, if you love to party with spirits that is. This game is exactly what it sounds like, you'll be hosting a party for ghosts. Before your party can being, you'll need to write out the invitations. You need a piece of paper and a pen then write 'You are invited to a gathering hosted by 'your name.' It takes place at 'your current time.' Bring your friends.' Then place the paper in the middle of the floor in the hosting room. (You'll also want to make sure you have all lights in the house turned off except the ones in the hosting room as well as having a clock and three matches.) When you exit the hosting room go around your house to all the rooms saying 'I'll be ready soon.' Once this is complete return to the hosting room and stand in the doorway saying 'I'm ready you may come in.' Then switch off the light and shut the door. Stand with your back to the hosting room and grab your three matches. Strike your match and if it lights say 'I am glad to see you thank you for coming' if it doesn't try once more if it lights the second time its an evil spirit, but still say the same thing. If it doesn't light after the second strike proceed to the next match and do the same process until you're finished. This is where the game really starts. The whole premise is to walk around the rest of your house aside from the hosting room and not look back. Once an hour is up, or if you feel a terrible presence, return to the hosting room and say 'Thank you for coming. Goodbye.' Walk to the nearest light source and turn it on. At this point, the ritual is over and your guests will be gone.
  4. The Hooded Man Ritual If you don't like to ride in cabs, or piss your pants out of fear, then I would highly suggest you don't try this game. This game requires you to dial a set of numbers into a rotary phone that will allegedly connect you to 'the other side'. You need to close all the doors, windows, and curtains in the room. You also need to tie a black string around the phone before you pick it up to talk. After you've dialed the number; count to 13, then say “Hello. I need a cab.” and hang up the phone. You should then go the window and look out, if the ritual was done correctly you'll see a black cab sitting outside. If there is no cab simply burn the black string and bury the ashes with salt. If the cab did appear, take a watch with you and go outside to it. This is where the ritual gets weird. You get into the back of the cab and you're alone. Lay down and shut your eyes (try to fall asleep.) When you awaken look at your watch, if not much time has passed you should go back to your house and finish the ritual. The time could also say 3:30 however. If you see 3:30 you'll fall back asleep for a moment. When you wake up the second time you'll find yourself on a highway with the hooded man driving. Don't speak to him or you'll wake up in your bed. Don't speak to any stranger who may enter the cab either because they could kill you. When your ride begins to get too intense you should whisper in the hooded man's ear “I have reached my destination” at which point you'll wake up in your bed and the ritual is over. A lot of people who have managed to reach this alternate universe describe the world outside the cab warping into a nightmare right in front of their eyes. It's said that you'll die if you don't tell the hooded man you've reached your destination, which would make sense since no one has ever found out where the cab stops.
  5. Sara Sarita This game originated in Mexico years ago. It's similar to a lot of paranormal games that ask questions to spirits, the only difference is that in this game you are supposed to be talking to spirits of two murdered girls named Sara and Sarita. To play the game you simply need two players and two coins of the same value. You sit in a room across from each other and say “Sara Sarita can I enter your game?.” You throw the coins over your heads and then check to see what it lands on. If you get two heads it's a yes, two tails it's a no, and one of each is a maybe. Continue to do this until you get a yes response. Now you're able to ask the girls any questions you may like, continuing to flip the coin over your heads for the answers. Once you're satisfied with your answers you can ask “Sara Sarita can I leave your game.?” Follow the same process at the beginning to finish the game. It's said that it can be quite difficult to get the game to end though.
  6. The Red Book Game 'El Juego Del Libro Rojo' This is one of the few games that can be played with multiple people. All you will need is a book with a red cover and a red candle. It must be a hardcover book! To play the game everyone must sit in a circle, the first player puts their hand on the book and says 'red book, may I enter your game?' Then open the book to a random page and point to a sentence. It can be hard to interpret, and if it makes no sense at all close the book and hand it off to the next player. If it's a positive response you've gotten a yes, a negative is no. The rest of the game like the other fortune telling games. Go around the circle asking questions until you're done, or if you feel a hostile presence. To end the game simply repeat what you initially did but say 'red book, may I leave your game?' until you get a positive response. None of the players may leave the circle until they've all been allowed to leave the game.

Warning: I do not suggest attempting to play these games in any form. I simply think its an interesting topic. These games are dangerous and can cause both mental and physical damage if attempted.

Cover Image Credit: TheOddityWorld

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