Lately, I've been thinking about people and being unhappy. I'm a people watcher. I observe almost everyone. I know it sounds creepy but I think about that bruise on that woman's cheek. I wonder if it got there by accident or on purpose.
I wonder why people stay in unhappy situations for so long. For example, take domestic abuse. I lived in that environment and I always wondered why don't you just leave? I know I sound hypocritical but I was there, in that same position, and I left. It hurt and it was so hard but I did it. I found a way.
Or the girl who stays in the bad relationship? Why? Just leave. If you aren't happy, go. End things. It's better for both parties. I can see that unhappiness weighs on the people I watch and the people I know.
I see it in their eyes and in the way they move. I see that desperate glean in their eyes. I also know that feeling of being in a terrible, cruel relationship. You want to leave so badly but then the unhappiness tells you, you aren't good enough to get more and to "power through," that things will get better.
But they don't get better and your unhappiness grows.
But here's the thing, don't we deserve better? Why should we stay unhappy? I decided to change things. I left my home. Then I left my ex behind. The unhappiness of everything that happened choked my voice down and I couldn't remember what I liked. I didn't know who I was. I left and began to regain who I was.
I know one thing someone I love struggles with is weight. It brings him extreme unhappiness. I don't try to understand his pain because I'm tiny and I always have been. I don't try to relate because it minimizes his feelings.
He sees something completely different from me. He sees a huge man, who is so overweight. The truth is, he isn't. He's very fit, way more than I ever will be. His weight brings him this unwavering unhappiness that affects his self-esteem.
To help alleviate that, every day I tell him how handsome he is and how attractive I find him. I tell him when he feels or thinks something negative, replace that negative with a positive. I may not understand his struggle exactly, but I do know what it's like to have negative thoughts about oneself. I would think and say terrible things about myself, but that was only dragging me down.
Now, I tell him to do what I did. Every day, I looked in the mirror and told myself that I was good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. Soon, the words sunk in and I started believing it.
I wholly believe in mind over matter. It changed my life, and I let go of the unhappiness. I believed I was good enough, smart enough, and pretty enough. And I still do.
One thing people know about me is that I'm blunt, almost rudely so. I have no filter and say what comes to my mind. It started because I used to hold my thoughts, feelings, and ideas back. One day, I just got fed up and started telling people exactly how I felt. It lifted some more of my unhappiness from my heart.
Lately, my job has been bringing me a lot of unhappiness. Things changed in the past few months. I used to love my job and everything about it, but now I dread it. So, what am I doing about my unhappiness?
I talked to my boss and we are trying to work things out. If I don't feel happy by the time school starts, I'll start looking for a new job. If something doesn't serve a purpose and fulfill you in the way you want, you have to change it because no one will do it for you.
If you want to leave your job, do it. If you stayed in a job that took you nowhere, leave and find the job you love. After all, you'll be doing it your whole life, so you better make sure it gives you the things you want.
Another thing that has been brining me unhappiness is my relationships. I've been pretty mum about it, but I want more. I want to move forward in life and it's not happening. If you know anything about me, its the fact that I can't stay still for too long. I have a wild heart. I'm a wanderer.
I need progression. I need fulfillment. I'm not getting it. This unhappiness I need to change and I'm working on it. Each day, I move closer to shedding the unhappiness my relationships bring because the parties involved talked about it with me and we are taking steps to resolve it. I want to have a family of my own some day, ya know? I can't stand here and wait forever.
It's never too late to leave and regain that happiness that you deserve. I evaluate every day the things that are making me happy and the things that aren't.
Removing the unhappiness takes time. It's not a quick process but it can be done. Step by step, you can be happy, you just have to stay positive and work on it. Before you know it, you'll be happy again.