Ah, procrastination. It is the bane of my existence sometimes, but I've unfortunately become an expert in the art of putting things off until the last minute. I've tried to change those habits on multiple occasions but clearly, the effort was fruitless as I am still one of the biggest procrastinators I know.
Here are a few phrases you might hear me or a procrastinator you know say days, hours or minutes before they crash and burn into the fiery pits of hell.
1. "I've got time."
No. No, you don't. You are keenly aware of how wrong you are every time you say you have the time to do that assignment, write that article, go grocery shopping, study for an upcoming test, etc. later. You know you're wrong but you put it off anyway.
2. "This'll just take a minute."
And that minute will take an hour. That hour will have suddenly morphed into six hours and then suddenly it's midnight and whatever you were putting off is now something you'll put off tomorrow. It's a problem for Future-You to deal with.
3. *stares off into space* "I'm just thinking."
No, you're not. At least not what you're supposed to be thinking about. You are thinking about whether a unicorn would taste like rainbows and if Skittles are made from unicorns. Is that how you can "taste the rainbow"?
4. "I just need a break; I'll get back to work soon."
You say this every hour as you rack up achievements in whatever video game you've been playing in your spare time instead of getting your shit done. You have said this so many times since you got out of your last class on Friday that the weekend has now passed and it is one in the morning on Monday.
5. "I should really get back to work."
Yeah, you should, but you won't. Not until there's an hour (an hour and a half at most) left until whatever you were putting off has to be done and/or turned in. You'll even get everything you need set out to send a picture of all your stuff to your friends over Snapchat, but that was a lot of work already.
After all that reading, you deserve a break now. Maybe take a look at some of the other articles, or scroll through Facebook or Instagram. It'll only take a minute, and you'll get back to work soon. Don't worry, you've still got time.
