Ask anyone to describe me and guaranteed quite will be on the list of traits. I'll admit, growing up, I have always been on the more quiet and reserved side. But as time went on, it really started to bother me how people would always look down on my quietness as negative. Here are a five things you should never say to a quiet person- I've gotten them all.
1. “Wow, I first thought you were quiet but after talking to you I realized you aren’t!"
Wow, I wouldn't have known anything about you until after talking to you either!
2. "You remind me just of -person's name-!"
Why? Is the only reason because we’re both quiet? That’s just like saying I remind you of my best friend because we’re both Asian. Please, move past the surface level appearance, get to actually know me first, and then compare me to other people.
3. "You're so shy."
We prefer the term “socially-selective.” Shy and quiet are not the same thing! Being more outgoing isn’t exactly a quality we can just turn on (nor do we necessarily want to). Basically, we DO like to talk, we’re just not comfortable around everyone. Who can respond to this kind of confrontation anyway? "You're so shy." Uh thanks...?
4. "Are you mad at me?"
Long answer short: no, we’re not mad. However, you might be pushing it with all these questions. (JK... Maybe... Quiet people have a patience limit too.)
5. "You should talk more!”
I actually had a girl tell me this to my face at our first meeting because I wasn't saying much to her. Then she proceeded to tell me to do more things in my life because I seemed “boring” and that it would make me a more well-rounded person. Excuse you! You should talk less!
Rather irksome right? I think what annoys me the most is that quiet people tend to be written off very quickly just because they don't appear to talk very much. There are lots of reasons why we may not be talking, some listed above. A lot of times we're doing a thing called listening. Quiet people don't need to be improved or fixed, they just need a chance.
So strike up a conversation with that girl who sits behind you in class, or the boy who is always downstairs in the common room. They might just surprise you with how much they have to say.
