Here's to the quiet ones. Whether you're shy, an introvert, or simply would rather listen more than you talk, this one's for you. Here are five struggles you probably know all too well to be true and wish others would understand:
1. "Why are you so quiet? Why don't you talk more?" etc.
Do I even need to explain why any questions similar to those are unnecessary and rude? These types of questions may be followed with a short and nice reply, but don't be fooled: deep down, every quiet person has been tempted at least once to retaliate with something like, "Why don't you talk less?" But thankfully quiet people tend to think things through before speaking, and restrain themselves.
2. When you do talk, somebody has to point it out.
"She actually talked!" Yes, that is an actual sentence that someone has said to me. Okay, so they didn't say it to me, they said it to the person I was talking to. That's right, someone talked about me as if I wasn't right in front of them. And sadly, situations like that are far too common for us. Apparently, we're amusing whether we talk or not.
3. Or you get talked over/not paid attention to.
It's ironic how we're told to talk more, but when we do, we're not heard. Maybe it's because quiet people tend to, well, actually talk quietly. The struggle is real, nonetheless.
4. Having people talk to you not because they're interested in getting to know you but because they think it's interesting to make you talk.
I don't know if people who do this realize it, or simply don't care, but every quiet person can tell the difference between a genuine conversation and a game to see how much they can make the presumably shy one speak. At least when it's super obvious, anyway. Don't get us wrong, though, we enjoy one-on-one conversations with someone we're friends with or could be friends with. We just don't want to be talked to if the reason is because the person is bored and somehow thinks trying to make us talk is funny.
5. Being paranoid that everyone thinks you're rude or stuck up.
One thing I believe every quiet person wishes people knew is that not talking a lot doesn't equal being rude. Even though we're well aware that not everyone thinks that way, enough do that we usually assume that's what people think unless they know us well.
No matter the reason you're quiet, try to embrace it. Not everyone is meant to be super-talkative all the time. People are different and that's a good thing. It's totally fine to want to talk more, but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Don't let other people pressure you into being someone you aren't, because I guarantee that the people who really matter will be the ones who take the time to listen when you have something to say instead of forcing you to say something.
