Over the course of high school, I learned a lot of things... the hard way. I know I need to let my sister learn things for herself to let her "find her individuality," but what kind of sister would I be if I refrained from warning her about some of the major mess-ups I found myself stuck in and how I could have avoided them? So in order to keep my title of "best big sis in the world," I will openly write five things I want her know as she continues to grow into the beautiful woman I know she will be.
1. BE CAREFUL WHO YOU VENT TO
This is important. As you grow, you will make friendships and relationships with a variety of people. Some of these people will honestly care about you, your feelings, and your well-being. Some will not. It is hard to decipher on your own which people are genuine on. Until their true colors come out (they will, I promise), only vent to people who have established their loyalty and love for you. The others' will take your vulnerability and use it against you every..single..time.
2. BE KIND REGARDLESS
Everybody has bad days, I get it, but be kind. Hold back that smart comment, because you will regret it later. Those comments build up, and before long you will get a reputation of being a "mean girl," and that is hard to shake. It's super cliche to say, but go out of your way for people. You never know what that person is going through behind the scenes. A "hey, are you okay?" can literally give somebody the hope that there are people who still care about them; this was proven to me when I asked a girl at my school if everything was okay and she later told a teacher that that one question showing concern stopped her from taking her life that day.
3. BEFRIEND EVERYBODY AND DO AWAY WITH THE "CLIQUES"
This piece of advice somewhat stems from the one above, but even with the similarity, it is too important not to say. The whole idea of a clique is toxic. It makes others feel unwelcome to befriend you. It makes everybody feel the need to fit neatly into a categorized group. As complex as we are individually, nobody should feel obligated to fit into a single "category." Forget the idea of cliques, it only brings pain and negativity to your school environment. I belonged to the "cheerleader, preppy" clique in high school and I regret not branching out and reaching out to more people. Learn from my mistake.
4. GO THE EXTRA MILE ACADEMICALLY
There are going to be days where you feel like settling with your minimal effort to pass... don't. You will regret settling so much when you get to high school. I know you hear this from all your high school teachers, and it seems like one of those things they say redundantly, but I promise, there is a reason behind it. If I would've maintained all A's throughout high school, I would have a full ride. If I could go back, I wouldn't let junior and senioritis win. Study up, kiddo, it's worth it.
5. BE INDEPENDENT
I saved the best for last. Do not feel obligated to have a boyfriend in high school. Being alone shouldn't be seen (as I viewed it) as a scary thing. It should be seen as an empowering status to hold. Save yourself and your time for somebody worthy of it. Do not just date to have somebody to call your's. You are your's. I promise babe, you can love yourself better than most of the guys you will date in high school. Don't seek love, seek self love. Once you fully love yourself, it will beam out and attract the man God has for you. Until this happens, have fun, work hard, study up, and be you.
You're not old enough to read this and understand the meaning of these words, but when you are, I pray these words save you some hurt and prepare you for the bright future you have ahead of you that I am so excited to witness.
