As college students it seemed that sometimes we are just so overwhelmed by all the work and stress of college that we are left speechless. But being the vocal generation that we are, we have an arsenal of phrases for just such occasions. These phrases are the ones you can hear someone say in class and you look at them and they instantly become your new best friend. The best way to make friends in college is to complain over shared assignments. These phrases are indicators of the people you should associate with, the ones who get so overwhelmed and offended by assignments they are left speechless except for one small phrase.
1. "I can't."
Every college student says, “I can’t” at least once a class period. Whether it is from the teacher forcing you to do group work, or giving you a huge assignment due the next time you meet, or even just showing up to class “I can’t” is the most appropriate reaction we can come up with. It usually goes something like this. You walk into class (most likely an early morning class) and you sit down next to your friend and take a deep hard breath. Your friend asks how you are doing. You simply reply, “ I can’t with this class.” Or you are sitting in class and your teacher says “we are going to do some group work today.” Naturally you look at the person you want to work with, then the teacher says “but I am picking your groups.” Like a well-rehearsed choir the entire class responds, “I can’t.”
2. "You want me to do what now?"
It never fails sometimes teachers get a little over ambitious when creating assignments. Bless their hearts they mean us no harm, but really they are killing us. These assignments are typically multiple parts and complicated. The only school appropriate thing you can think to say is, “You want me to do what now?” For example, you just finished reading a novel or story for your English class. Your professor thinks it will be fun for you to do a multiple page paper, a presentation, a visual model for the novel or story and then come up with some fun game for the class to play. Then after explaining the assignment the teacher asks, “Anyone have any questions?” Then because what you actually want to say would be considered rude you raise your hand and say, “You want me to do what now?”
3. "It's fine."
It’s fine is a special phrase that we use when we have completely just given up and realized our teachers are out to get us, and they want to watch us suffer. "It’s fine" is a phrase when you are trying to sound optimistic. It is typically preceded by "but." For example, you walk into class and the teacher gives you a pop quiz over who knows what. After the quiz you are discussing it with your friends. Your friends say they did terrible and you say something along the lines of, “I wasn’t expecting a quiz today, but it’s fine. It is totally fine. She doesn’t want me to graduate ever.”
4. "How?"
If you have ever heard a college student use this, then you know this comes from a very dark place inside that student. You don’t know sass, attitude, and frustration until you hear a college student say "how." We use this when we get to that point when we realize the teacher has completely lost their minds if they think we are going to be to do what they expect. A head and eye roll and some serious hand gestures almost always accompany it. It typically goes like this: the teacher teaches for like 45 minutes of a 50 minute class then give this packet of worksheets and tells you it is due at the end of class and to make sure you explain yourself well. You get so mad and frustrated that “You want me to do what now?" just isn’t strong enough, so you have to reach down deep into your attitude and sass files and with a hard head roll belt out a totally appropriate “How?” accompanied by a shoulder shrug and a click of the tongue.
5. "No."
"No" is a college student's go-to answer. When it comes to academics, "yes" is almost nonexistent. Whether it is your friend asking is if you did the assigned reading, or asking if you get what we are doing in class, "no" is just the answer college students naturally give. Even if the answer is "yes" we have become so trained to just say "no" that the response is automatic. Then there are the times when we get so overwhelmed from a class that we just get up and walk out saying “no” all the way from our seat to the door, but that is an extreme case.
Moral of the story: college is hard and we college students are doing our best to remain respectful. We mean no harm with these phrases we are just finding the best way to express ourselves.
