It All Takes Three Minutes
Start writing a post

It All Takes Three Minutes

I give tips for first-time comedians at any typical open mic.

It All Takes Three Minutes
Gavin Glen Johnson

For first-time comics, they may never realize how fast three minutes could drive by until they take the chance to speak up and time themselves. I've seen musicians get cheering reactions right away in 30 seconds; that can happen for a comedian but with a stronger following. It might be easy to relate an audience with a cover song, but telling jokes about taboo subjects- like sex- doesn't always pan out in a three-minute set. I found out that strangers may click with comedian more with nostalgic memories and satirizing recent pop culture within the limited, given time.

More for what I can say about comedic timing, bits might as well go an average of three minutes before having to segue from one story to the next. If you're ever a fan of listening to comedy albums from iTunes or Amazon Prime Music, you could tell how long each track takes. Whenever I see a headlining comic deal with hecklers- usually, for talking too much or too loudly during a show- they try to keep about three minutes (give or take) at the maximum. If a comedian wants to poke fun at a particular audience member's lone reaction or cheer of a joke, the extra time of improvisation makes it worth in good taste.

Speaking of taste, people eat too fast if they finish a meal in three minutes or less. If there are pie or watermelon eating contests, I bet some of the largest families have leftover eating contests. If you have a favorite food, why rush to finish it if you're not on break at work or when you're watching a cooking show with great envy? Ice cream could be the exception unless if I'm ever in the mood for a dish melting into sugary chowder.

As of writing this article, I've been seeing the first snowfall of the year by this upcoming Halloween. The only beauty to get out of the mixes of rain and snow could be breaks of precipitation with three minutes at a time. When it's 20-30 degrees Fahrenheit, I let my car warm up for three minutes at least. My SUV may look like a box at a distance, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't be driving in an ice cube all winter long.

The more experienced comedians get the more time for at least five minutes. Some might want the extra time to introduce themselves and where they came from. Others just might want for bragging rights. Starting with Richard Pryor opening the very first show of Saturday Night Live in 1975, it should be any comedian's honor to guest host and give a monologue- just as long as they don't catch the kissing disease.

If a crocodile did stand-up comedy, it would've done its set quick and snappy. Three minutes also makes decent time for me to perform any of my comedy songs- though it's more instrumental with some sick guitar riffs. But the goal for short amounts of stage time is always timing.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Why I Don't Write (Or Read) An "Open Letter To My Future Husband/Wife"

Because inflated expectations and having marriage as your only goal are overrated.

Urban Intellectuals

Although I have since changed my major I remember the feverish hysteria of applying to nursing school--refreshing your email repeatedly, asking friends, and frantically calculating your GPA at ungodly hours of the night. When my acceptance came in I announced the news to friends and family with all the candor of your average collegiate. I was met with well wishes, congratulations, and interrogations on the program's rank, size, etc. Then, unexpectedly, I was met with something else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Meet the creators making their voices heard on Odyssey.

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week
Why I Write On Odyssey

At Odyssey, we're on a mission to encourage constructive discourse on the Internet. That's why we created the response button you can find at the bottom of every article.

Last week, our response writers sparked some great conversations right here on our homepage. Here are the top three response articles:

Keep Reading... Show less

"Arthur's Perfect Christmas" Is The Perfect Holiday Special, Move Over Charlie Brown

Arthur Read is here to deliver the real meaning of Christmas.


As the holiday season draws nearer, many of us find ourselves drawn to the same old Rankin-Bass Christmas specials and the perennial favorite, "A Charlie Brown Christmas." However, I would like to suggest an overlooked alternative, "Arthur's Perfect Christmas." It is a heartfelt, funny, and surprisingly inclusive Christmas special that deserves more recognition.

Keep Reading... Show less

Reclaim Your Weekends From The 'Sunday Scaries' With 'Self-Love Sundays' Instead

Everyone needs a day to themselves sometimes.

Reclaim Your Weekends From The 'Sunday Scaries' With 'Self-Love Sundays' Instead
Olivia DeLucia

Laid back and taking it easy — sometimes that is the motto we all need after a busy week. Sunday scaries? Yes, they are valid – but you know what else is? A Sunday full of self-love. A lazy Sunday spent doing what you feel needs to be done to ease into the next week. Self-Love Sundays are a guilty pleasure that isn't only essential for our mind, and body, but are also a surprisingly proactive way to devote the upcoming week with a clear mindset.

So, what is a more suitable way to dedicate your week's end than a beautifully, connected playlist to accompany your face masks and journaling? Cheers, to a Self-Love Sunday (and a playlist intertwined with it to match). (Please note: "Sunday Morning" isn't included in this list, due to the obvious, but feel free to blast it anyway, we know you want to).

Keep Reading... Show less

On Sunday Morning

Breaking Free

Sunset Girl

The sun rose and peeked through the sheer curtains. Rose’s alarm shrieked. The loud bells caused her phone to jump on the side table. It was time for her to get ready for church. Blindly reaching for her phone, she shut the alarm off and pulled at the covers providing her a cocoon of warmth and tossed them to the side. She swept her bare feet across the bed to touch the cool wooden floor.

Rose softly tiptoed to the corner of the bedroom to grab her clothes dangling on the arm of the bedroom chair. Scooping all of the items of her chosen outfit, she headed to the bathroom hoping that she wouldn’t drop anything.

Round, piercing blue eyes stared back at her in the bathroom mirror. Rose fingered the wrinkles forming around her eyes. So many of them bore signs of laughter and smiling. Slowly dropping her hands, she couldn’t remember the last time she laughed in her home with Tom. Shaking her head as if to erase the negative thoughts, she reached for her makeup bag and went through her regular routine.

Applying her favorite deep rose lipstick, Rose headed downstairs to make her coffee and bagel to take with her to church. The smell of dark-roast coffee swirled in the air as Rose sliced her cinnamon raisin bagel. Hearing the Keurig sputter with the fresh brew, Rose found the interruption of the stillness comforting. The toaster signaled that her bagel was done with a soft pop. It had a delicious golden brown color. Placing the bagel on the counter, she generously spread honey nut flavored cream cheese across both halves. Gathering her bible, notebook, and pens from the side table on the porch she stuffed them into her purse. Purse hanging on her right shoulder she juggled her coffee and bagel in both of her hands as she headed to the garage.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments