After a long anxious wait of turning 21, it finally happened. My first thirsty was one that I will never forget.
Growing up as a girl, my favorite toys were always dolls. Barbie was especially my favorite and I always hoped when I got older I would find my Ken. Thankfully my 5-year-old fantasy of marrying Ken didn’t last very long.
After a long week of school, work and dealing with the humans around me I was happy to finally go out to celebrate this Thirsty Thursday. Work seemed to go on for forever, probably because I was anxiously waiting for the clock to strike 4:30. After waiting an eternity I was finally clocking out and headed to my old and dated car, which I liked to pretend was my Barbie Dream Car. Of course when I arrive home which in this case is not the Barbie Dream House I realize I have another chore to accomplish, getting a shower and making myself look like a real person. While many girls may look forward to getting all dolled up I am one of those girls who would be more than happy with going out in sweatpants and a t-shirt, but unfortunately that doesn’t happen. I decided to take a nap, so what if I’m late getting out to the bar, no one is ever early.
The start of my night was just grand, I burnt my fingers a few times on my straightener, my eyeliner was uneven and my outfit looked shitty. All I wanted was a night to let loose and have fun but instead I had crispy fingertips, a pointless black line on my eyes and an outfit that looked like a potato sack. At this point I was praying that the drinks were cheap and my Uber driver let me control the radio.
I checked my phone to realize my Uber driver was waiting outside my door. My night was finally on its way. My driver was an alright guy, he wasn’t that personable, I think his name was Richard. The very standoffish Uber driver Richard got me to the bar safe and sound with giving me full control of the radio.
When I walked into the bar it was almost like the gates of heaven opened for me and the alcohol was my god and seeing all my friends, they were my angels. After a few drinks with the ladies we hit the dance floor. The DJ was great playing a mix of popular songs with the best of the 90’s. While grooving to the music I felt someone come up behind me and I knew it wasn’t one of my girls. I turned around to see who this stranger was and in that moment my 5 year-old fantasy of marrying Ken came rushing back to me. This guy had the luscious long blonde hair with these dreamy blue eyes that you could drown in. He was nicely built and had a very chiseled chin. I didn’t think there was a real life Ken doll but here he was standing right in front of me asking to buy me a drink.
Ken whose real name is Joe was flattering and charming. It was like I was playing with my dolls all over again. After a drink, bought by Joe a.k.a Ken we started to dance more that all seemed perfect but it suddenly began to change.
With every new song that came on Joe became more comfortable and relaxed. By the third song and his third attempt of going in for a kiss his lips ended up on my face. At first I didn’t mind but it threw me off when he did it two more times and ended up biting my face. I didn’t feel like Barbie anymore, I felt like the Thanksgiving Turkey that everyone wanted a piece of. At the fourth bite on the cheek I had to send Joe packing. I made a break for it and found my friends on the dance floor. I told them it was time to leave and we all headed out. I pulled out my phone to call Richard to come and pick me up. Before I knew it I was on my way home and more than ready for bed. I should’ve never went back to my 5 year-old ways because my Barbie fantasy left me annoyed with a bite mark on my face. Looks like I’ll have to cover that up before heading into work tomorrow.