Everyone's first semester of college is hard for different reasons. Most of us leave the town we have lived in our whole life, say goodbye to friends and family, and venture into the unknown--whatever that might mean. I had a difficult transition from the Midwest to the East Coast (yes, trust me they are very different places) and started school knowing one person. I moved literally across the country from my boyfriend, said goodbye to my brother and sister and parents who I was used to seeing every day, and told my friends I would visit them for sure without realizing that I actually would only see them on breaks.
After the first month, I was slowly familiarizing myself with my new town and making friends, but still sometimes called my mom too often. I had joined several clubs and reached out to the people in my dorm hall and classes.
As I was becoming more and more adjusted, the unexpected happened. One of my close friends from high school suddenly passed away. He had collapsed from a severe asthma attack while playing basketball with his friends at college.
I cannot describe how difficult it was for me to be so far from home and without anyone from my high school to process this with. It was a terrible loss that left me searching for words that I still haven't managed to find today. I already felt alone and this isolated me even more. I was grateful that my teachers were very supportive and understanding when I informed them I was going home for the weekend and missing classes but when I went home and spent time with my friends and family and Nick's family, it made it so much harder to re-adjust to life at Villanova when I came back.
To add to this, my family had to put my dog down that we had for the past twelve years. When I came home that weekend in September, he was gone and so was Nick.
I started to feel at home again in November and then December came and I spent my first birthday away from my family. My friends were so nice and spent as much time as they could with me since they had so much studying to do but nothing is the same as your mom cooking you your favorite meal for dinner.
When I went home for Thanksgiving we visited my great grandmother in Cape Girardeau, Missouri and my relatives put her in hospice. She was barely lucid and it was difficult to know that that was the last time we would be with her. A couple weeks later, on my nineteenth birthday, she passed away.
I don't write this so people feel bad for me. I write this because I look back on my first semester of college and realize that I went through so much change in so little time and I came out of it a stronger person. I dealt with a lot of loss all while balancing my grades and being away from home. We all know that oftentimes life doesn't go as it should or how we want it to, but all we can do is keep looking forward. Something I've been forced to learn is that unfortunately time never stops for us to grieve. I had a difficult time during my first semester but I won't sit and dwell on my losses; instead I want to always hold those that I lost in my heart and do what they would want me to: focus on making the most of my time here.
And finally, I urge you to please go and tell those you care for that you love them.
