In college, I think a lot of people lose themselves. A lot of the times you lose yourself in a person, other times it is in a way of life. Most of the time, you don't realize you've lost yourself until it is too late. God becomes irrelevant. Nothing seems to go as planned and you find yourself in a hole. One that you have dug so deep around yourself that it seems as if there is no turning back. But I promise you there always is. In the Bible it says, “…the Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.”- Daniel 9:9 NLT. He is a God of infinite chances.
Even though you have lost yourself, you have NOT lost him. It says in 1 Corinthians 16:32 that “Our Master Jesus has his arms wide open for you.”. He has been waiting the whole time for you. Waiting for you to come home. Waiting for you to realize you can’t do it alone no matter how hard you try.
This you that I keep referring to was me. I lost myself when I was trying to find where I fit in. I lost the relationship with God that I had. I was on fire for God. I never thought in a million years that it would be me losing my relationship with God. I thought that my relationship was too strong to lose. I had everything lined up and planned out, but what people don't tell you is that no matter how planned out your life is, something is bound to change.
It wasn’t until the day that I was laying down crying my eyes out that I realized that I had lost myself. I hated myself and the person that I was becoming. I wanted to be the girl that I knew I could be and used to be. I wanted to be able to go out to a party maybe drink a little bit, but still have God’s light shining through me. I realized that without Him I am a mess. I am a failure and I am not the person I want to be. I want to be someone's wife one day, and I want them to see me for the person I want to be. Not the person I was becoming.
If you find that you are losing yourself. You have to find someone that you can be 100% honest with. You have to trust that everything is going to work out, but you can't just sit around and wait for it to happen. Find your passions in life and find amazing friends. Go out with these friends and laugh a lot. Don’t be afraid to cry. Maybe you will even find the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. But you can’t be afraid to open up and fall in love. If you are, nothing will work out quite right and you will feel hopeless. But one thing I can tell you is that until you find your peace and place with God, you won't find any of the best things in life. So seek Him and everything will fall into place.
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