I am writing this to the girl who let outside opinions define her, but let's be real. I am writing this to myself. A sincere apology letter to me from me for ever letting someone who did not even know me tell me who I was. Stella Payton once said, "Whatever you believe to be true, whether it is true or not; if you believe it, then to you it becomes the truth."

Woah. Why would anyone ever let what someone says about them become their truth? Why on earth do we, including myself, define ourselves based on a negative thought that someone felt the need to express. The more these thoughts flooded my mind today the more I began to drown in every hurtful thing someone has ever said about me. I decided to narrow these thoughts down and write on paper a small list of character flaws. Things that I think are problems that I have or reasons for people not to like me. The very first thing on my sheet of paper was 1. I talk too much. Okay, says who? Possibly everyone I come in contact with, but that is beside the point. The point is, this came to my mind first because this recently came out of more than one person's mouth in a one week span. I talk too much. I kept writing things that are "wrong" with me as a person and I kept reading over the first sentence. I talk too much. My mom used to question me by saying, "Have you reached your maximum word usage of the day yet?" I am fully aware that I do talk a lot, but who decided that it is too much? Was it someone who is not interested in things that I have to say or quite frankly who I am as a person? Absolutely. The more I mulled over that thought the more I thought of things that do define me. I very quickly started a list of things that I think are positive characteristics and I made my number one sentence read, "I talk a lot." Not too much. A lot.

I am a server. I basically talk for a living. In the bigger picture I, of course, bring people food and they eat dinner then leave. In the smaller more detailed picture I interact with people over dinner. I get to talk to people on a daily basis. Whether or not they care to listen I make my money by the impact that I make on them. Some may not give a rat's tail the funny story I feel the need to tell them and some are annoyed by my word vomit (which I have a very serious case of) but there are people who care. There are people who want to enlighten me on their day or tell me a funny joke. Maybe they don't have a multitude of people to talk to? I will always talk. I will always tell people every detail about my day. I will always tell the joke that is not even that funny.

I am not being codependent any longer. I refuse to question myself and shut my mouth simply because someone told me I talk too much. Obviously talking too much is not an issue for everyone and it is definitely not the bigger picture in this writing, but whatever the flaw is my advice to you is embrace it. Laugh at your own joke. Find a village of people who do care what you have to say. Find your circle and love them hard. Love them for who they are. Break yourself down and begin loving each part of you. The more days you spend being your true self you will begin to radiate. You will have a glow no one saw coming. You will have confidence in your flaws and you will not be sorry for cutting people out. You will not be sorry for cutting out people who tear you down. Let's be real, how many times do you get torn down before you realize who actually builds you back up? You do. Anyone who ever makes you feel like you need to be someone you're not is toxic. Do not be defined by society. Do not be defined by your family. Do not be defined by toxicity. Take a look at your flaws and see if they are really flaws at all. Move that negative characteristic to the positive list. Do not ever let society define you again. Embrace your best version of you in every aspect of life.

I am sorry to the girl who ever doubted herself. I am sorry to the girl who faked her happiness to please others. I am sorry to the girl who defined herself based on the opinion of people who did not even care to know her. Abraham Lincoln once said, "Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." My mind is set on self love and I found my happiness there. So, cheers to me solely for being me.