Imagine that you wake up one morning to a picture perfect day. The sun is shining brightly. The wind is the perfect kind of gentle and peaceful calm; you know, the one where it’s almost blissful. The breeze sweeps across your face, but it’s not chilling, painful, or strong. As you leave home, you smile with no thought that this day would be anything but happy. No thought that it would impact your life more than the next day or more than the last day. How could you know, that this day, this beautiful, crisp day, would change your life forever...
Real, heartbreaking loss is something you can never really be prepared for and no amount of time will ever be enough with the ones we love. Whether it is our grandparents who may pass away in their sleep at an old age, a cousin who is the victim of a drunk driver, or a sibling who did not get to experience more than a few days, months, or years of life; it’s not fair.
In my case, I became well-acquainted with the ache of real loss way before I wanted to. At a young age, I lost someone very precious to me -- my baby sister. Not too long after that, I lost a best friend to cardiac arrest. Throughout my 21 years, I have seen plenty of loss and it never gets easier to receive that news or to move forward. In fact, I think it may have become harder as time goes on because as I have gotten older, I have found it harder to accept the loss of good people who do not deserve to die.
With the experiences I’ve had, I have unavoidably had to stop and think about loss; really think about it and try to find some sanity through the heartache. Is it the amount of time that someone is with us what truly matters? Or is the prize, the gold, the invaluable gift the lessons and memories that our loved ones have imprinted on us during their time with us?
I do believe we are all connected and that each person comes into your life for a purpose. Sometimes it’s clear and well-defined. Other times it’s subtle and harder to see. Regardless, each person you connect with was meant to come into your life and contribute something to your growth. Death is merely a noun that defines the termination of one’s physical being. It does not take away what that individual has left in your soul.
I also believe it’s a mutual exchange, that their soul actually takes a part of you with them. Just as they have contributed to your being, you have most certainly done the same. Maybe this is why death is so hard. You don’t only lose the person physically, but you also lose a tiny part of you.
Maybe the best thing anyone can hope to take away from facing the fact that someone’s time on earth has been cut short is that there is a part of that person that even death can’t destroy. There is something new within you because of that person. A lesson learned, a memory shared, an appreciation of something that you would not have if you had never known them. It is because of that one person that you now know the meaning of love, strength, courage, compassion, or maybe something as silly as how to change a flat when you’re stranded on the highway and decided you were too good to call AAA. Whatever it is, the person who is no longer here on earth is part of you, as real as your left pinkie finger.
While there is nothing that can replace being able to see someone and touch them, there is comfort to be found in what remains. There is hope when you find yourself smiling when you see something that triggers a memory and peace in knowing that one day you will see them again.
Rest in paradise, my angels.
