I knew when I applied to NC State that it was a predominately white school. At the time it didn't bother me because my main focus was making sure my grades were good to apply early and get into their animal science program. While I was aware that there wouldn't be a lot of people who looked like me, I didn't let that stop me from applying and attending this school.
I was asked why I didn't apply to North Carolina A&T State since they had what I needed for veterinary school and it's a HBCU. I liked the that the entire campus' demographic consisted of people who shared my skin color and I could blend in easier. My friends tried to persuade me to go to a place where I could fit in and have a easier time making friends. With how weird I am, I knew that I would have a hard time making friends at an HBCU. I already knew my personality, preferences, and obsessions would scare away people. Sorry not sorry.
I understood their reasoning, but I didn't like that the campus made me feel as if I didn't leave home, the place where everyone tells you to leave and don't look back. So that kept my eye on NC State and the only thing that could stop me from coming was being rejected.
Once I got my acceptance letter, I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. It was more so I had put it in my head that I wasn't going to get accepted and was already looking at going to ECU. Glad I didn't do that!
As the summer slowly led to the fall and August was approaching, I did get nervous. The idea that I was going to be surrounded by a population that lacked melanin began to freak me out. My roommate was black and I felt better because we got to share that feeling together and talk to each other about finding our places on campus.
While I never really cared to find those places and more black people, I at least wanted to see where they're hangouts were.
Going to class, to the library (on the occasions I did go), Talley Student Union, or even just walking around on campus, everyone began to look the same and my eyes got tired of barely seeing a campus that held the tiniest amount of diversity amongst 34,000+ students. It bothered me that I knew there were other ethnicities around campus but I never saw them.
So with the couple of friends I made, I hung out with them and also talked to my friends from home. I told them about how outnumbered I felt here and how sometimes I got scared walking around on campus as the election got closer to ending. It was just disheartening to feel as if other kids who look like me might not apply to this school because they know how small their demographic is compared to the other students. I don't blame them, but yall need to apply and come add some diversity to this campus.
While I'm heading into my third year at NC State, I've found my little group of people (who look like me) who make me feel less of an outcast and less outnumbered. My friends have accepted who I am and sometimes encourage my weirdness. They're all a little weird and quirky which makes attending this school easier to deal with.
