This entire year has been a trying one to say the least. I've been presented with trials. I've been pushed beyond my limits. I've shed a lot of tears. I think I even lost myself at one point. If I had to describe the year 2016 with one adjective, I would choose wandering.
Wandering :traveling aimlessly from place to place; itinerant
I'd say for the last 6 months, I have been traveling day by day, aimlessly, place to place, not knowing my purpose. Before I came to college, I thought I had everything figured out. I've always been a planner. I plan. I determine. When I meet people for the first time, if I feel a connection, I place them in my life forever. I'm futuristic in that sense. Anyways, one of my very huge life plans didn't go as expected. My life felt in shambles and I was forced to literally remove myself from my comfort zone, grow up, and redefine my life's purpose.
After that bump in the road happened, it was like my life went on turbulence mode and all my plans that I thought were right kept getting shaken up. I thought the world was against me. Nothing seemed as if it was ever going to go right. I didn't feel like I knew what I was put on this earth to do. Heck, I didn't even know what I wanted to do with myself day by day.
So, I started to think. Maybe it's not the world who is against me. Maybe, I am the one who's not listening. Instead of redefining my life I realized what I needed to do instead was redefine my approach. I am a woman of faith. Therefore, I declared it was time for me to take a step back and begin to listen to God's plan for me rather than my own, since mine obviously didn't seem to be working out.
As I've learned to step back, listen, approach people more cautiously, and become more aware of my surroundings, I realized that all of those trials were lessons. Better yet, chapters in my book. Without one chapter in a book, the next one cannot be developed, so when I look back on things I sit in awe realizing that this trial happened, to keep me away from an awaiting trial and this person left my life for this reason and I met this person for this reason and this happened to me because I needed to learn this lesson, etc.
As I enter this last chapter of my 12 chapter book entitled 2016, I sit patiently awaiting to hear my purpose from the Lord. I will turn my wandering into a purposeful stride. With each trial, connection and lesson, I get one step closer to turning my passions into a direct purpose and being able to answer these 3 very important questions. What was I born to do? Why am I on this earth? How will I change the world?
