Let's admit it, your first day at college was probably either the best or scariest moment of your life. Your parents waved goodbye leaving you to be your own person with no curfew or constant harping to clean up your room. For those of you who were scared, maybe these were the things you missed most. Perhaps it was even harder being in a completely new city or state surrounded by absolute strangers. Well, I was one of you and I'm going to share the story that was the hardest - but the most rewarding - experience of my life so far.
A little backstory: I grew up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and attended Catholic schooling all the way through high school (it was also an all girls high school). I swore up and down my senior year that I wouldn't consider anywhere less than five hours from my home city because, let's face it, I was sick of mom and dad. I thought I knew what was best for me but in actuality, I wasn't looking before I leaped. As it came time to make a decision on my choice of college, it was narrowed down between three: Arcadia University, Millersville University, and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Ultimately I picked Millersville because I no longer thought I could stand being so far from home, yet Arcadia was entirely too close. Boy, was I wrong.
My move-in day came in the blink of an eye. No longer would I have my friends in walking distance of me, no longer would I wear the same uniform I wore five days a week for four years of my life. Any familiarity I had was gone, and if you've ever moved from a city to a practical desolate area, let me tell you, it isn't very fun. I was scared, nervous and anxious of what my life had in store for me, but I couldn't seem to shake the longing of home. Everyone seemed to know each other, and I felt like I was this random person plopped in the middle of a wide-open space. Lancaster was similar to "the country" for me and I believed I didn't belong.
A month flew by, yet to me, it was like a lifetime. I Kim-K-ugly cried nearly every night on the phone with friends, family, anyone who would listen to my pleas. My grandmother was especially heartbroken for me, offering advice and even telling me to apply somewhere closer to home. But is that what I wanted? Could I do this all over again? I wasn't too confident. To make matters even worse, my long-term boyfriend of almost two years cheated on me. With that happening and already feeling so low, it was like my life was spiraling out of control. I was on this roller coaster of spins and turns that wouldn't let me off.
The semester passed with many visits back home. If you think this helps, let me assure you that it doesn't. Every time I had to leave the comfort of my own bed in my familiar room it was like move-in day all over again. I was devastated time and time again.
I'm here to tell you that if you're reading this and going through what I did, please understand that things can and will get better. I know it's easier said than done, but making friends helps more than you can imagine. Join some clubs, maybe even play an intramural sport. College is stressful as it is, so don't put yourself through even more hell by sitting by yourself every weekend you don't go home (because trust me, I've been there.) New places are scary when you come from somewhere that basically shaped you into the person you are. It may feel disorienting at first, you may even want to give up (been there too), but time really does go by so much faster in college. You'll soon see that it's not as bad as you think it is.
As Dory from Finding Nemo says, "Just keep swimming."
