I’m not going to tell you that trying to find happiness in helping others is wrong or that you’ll never be truly happy until you focus on yourself. For some, focusing on yourself is key. I don't believe that is true for you and me.

Helping others is dangerous. Focusing solely on someone else’s feelings and problems is a way out of your own thoughts that seem to all be in check, but are the most tangled part that you cannot seem to figure out and that is why everything else seems so perfect. Perfect. That is a word that has many different meanings to many different people and it is honestly all I strive for. You learn to convince yourself that everything is your own version of perfect, because if everyone around you is happy, then it has to be true, right? Not necessarily, but how do you fix this? That is something I am still trying to figure out. I’ve tried to plan out scenarios that could possibly change this, but I’ve learned one thing and that is that I cannot change this.

Caring about others' well-being is part of who I am. Yes, this might not always be beneficial and might come back to bite you in the butt, but others seem to became happy in the process. It is nice to see others happy, even though you seem to be struggling with your own thoughts and stress. Explaining to others how you feel also seems to be an endless loop of helpless advice because you cannot truly put how you feel into words for others to understand when you truly don't understand them yourself.

These unexplainable feelings can become even more complicated when you throw another person’s feelings, which you care about, into all of this. I am talking about the feeling most dread and dream of finding; love. This takes its toll on many. I don't have years of experience, neither have I experienced this emotion myself, but I certainly have not seen it among many of the people and couples I come across. But those many still have someone they get to call theirs. Are they truly happy? For now, maybe.

But as for us, the ones who focus on others, while doing so, the others seem to be benefitting, but there’s a difference between us and them. They lose themselves in order to find others. We may attempt to stray from our paths to do this, and some succeed, but most wander back to our normal routine.

We may not be satisfied, happy, or “perfect” in our own sense, but I want you to know, you are not the only one with these morals and that you never need to change these things about yourself in order to find the person you feel could be the “one." Never settle for anything less than perfect, when perfect is all you deserve.