Most people have a general rule or few for what makes someone a good friend. I mean, we all pretty much know that we don’t want a friend that is going to lie to us or try to steal our boyfriend. But when it comes to the stuff that’s not quite so easy to see, we often get fooled and end up wasting our time on a rotten friend.

So this article isn’t so much a sappy post you can send your friends and say “this is so you”.

Actually, this is more of how to tell if someone you think is your friend is just no good. So here are the three keys to a not so good friend:

1. When you talk they tend to talk only about their life and have zero interest in you

This might seem like an easy thing to be able to see, but often when we aren’t looking for something to be wrong with a person, we can’t find it. The best way to test this is when you have a problem like you got a really bad grade on a test or your boyfriend dumped you, and you tell them about this they don’t really want to talk about the subject. If you notice them just brushing off everything you say and not making any real effort to comfort you other than stereotypical one-liners, then you might just have a fake friend. They probably aren’t trying to comfort you or talk about what is going on because they don’t actually care and so trying to show any sort of emotion is just uncomfortable and awkward for them.

2. They don’t have ANY long-term friends

Now before I start to explain this one I do want to clarify that I am not telling you to listen to what everyone around you says. I am also not saying you should completely base the termination of a friendship on just this fact alone. However, if you know that your friend had a bunch of really close friends in the past, but somehow they don’t talk at all anymore (and it’s not because they all started college or moved away), then there is a good chance that your friend did something to hurt these friendships and you might want to watch out because there is a high chance of them being a repeat de-friender.

3.They would ever try to stop you from doing something that would obviously make you happy

This one is key. When you tell your friend something that you are obviously excited about or proud of and then immediately begin to tell you why you are being unreasonable or making the wrong decision, this could be a major red flag. One reason they could be doing this, of course, is if they really are looking out for your best interest. However, it is important to actually consider what their motive is because they could, in fact, be more interested in their own agenda and if your happiness really bothers them that much then that is a major problem and you need to find a new friend.

Good luck finding your fake friends!!