When you meet someone for the first time, you're likely to ask them where they are from. Most people will simply view this question as a casual ice breaker intended to start conversation, but for me, it is one which tugs at my heartstrings. What seems like a simple enough question actually sends shivers down my spine.
Do I give them the "Oh, I'm from Washington D.C," even though I really live in Potomac?
Do I tell them that I grew up in a small town in Connecticut called South Glastonbury, which is one which they probably would otherwise have assumed was a type of fruit?
Or do I look at them and tell them that I was adopted and spent the first year of my life in a tiny, cramped orphanage in the cold abyss of Birobidzhan, Russia. (Go ahead . . . try and pronounce it.)
When I moved to Potomac after 4th grade way back when in the summer of 2004, I was a Connecticut girl through and through. When asked, I would tell people that was where I was from and got strange, yet inquisitive looks in return for being "the new girl who moved."
As time went by and I got involved in gymnastics, youth group and attended summer camp, things shifted and I began to feel like Maryland was my home.
Sure, little old G-bury would always have a place in my heart but I began to feel as though Maryland was the place I really grew up and was that which shaped me into who I am today.
Sometimes, I'm just not sure how to respond, but in some ways I feel that perhaps it doesn't matter as much as we all think it does. Where you come from might influence your actions, feelings, thoughts and behaviors, but regardless of where you originate from, you're still a human being who has wonderful attributes and individual imperfections.
Last weekend, I saw "Finding Dory" and never thought I'd feel such a strong connection to a little blue tang fish. You see, Dory and I have just kept on swimming despite the obstacles we continuously have faced. Dory, is a fictitious fish who has short term "remembery" loss who knows that she has a family and is missed, but has trouble remembering who they are and where they live.
She searches, yearns for, and stops at nothing to reunite with her family.
I hope to one day have the opportunity to retrace my roots, and visit Russia, and potentially find my long lost family back in Russia.
I, like Dory, sometimes have a hard time formulating into words where exactly I came from.
Dory struggles throughout the Pixar animation, to relocate what was lost, with the family she has created with her other fishy friends.
I was adopted by a wonderful, absolutely loving family who have taught me how to love and be loved. My parents have shown me how it feels to belong and what it means to have a family.
Dory and I may lack self-awareness at times when it comes to where we are in space, or in water, in her case, but that does not mean we do not know where we are going. Likewise, just because somebody might not know where they are right now, it doesn't mean that they do not know where they want to end up.
We get lost . . . it happens. From a young age, I have struggled with Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, one which has given me both strengths and weaknesses, just like everybody else.
We get lost, we fall down, and yet we get back up.
Dory takes chances, and overcomes remarkable feats (swimming across the ocean is quite impressive if I do say so myself) despite the roadblocks that deter her from achieving her goals.
She carries with her the faith that one day she will return to the place she grew up, and the family who she slipped away from.
I carry with me the belief that one day I'll return to Russia. I'll learn about my past and fill in the cracks of the history that is mine yet at the same time feels as if it belongs to somebody else.
As long as there is hope, there is a way and Dory has inspired me, as she has inspired countless others to take chances, think on the fly, and live in a truly remarkable way.
Dory and I do not share genes, nor do we live in the same world. Dory, a character, and I, a person. Two different souls, two similar stories, one bold dream.
At the end of the movie and after tears had been shed, Dory reunites with her family and yet learns a very important lesson.
Family doesn't necessarily have to be that which you are biologically related to. As I've grown up and gained perspective, I've realized too, that family perhaps, is something more.
Family is a feeling.
Belonging is something that doesn't occur because you're in one location or the other or related to somebody by blood. You'll sometimes meet people who you feel closest and most comfortable with, by accident. I believe, and think it's fair to say that Dory would also agree, that everything happens for a reason and that we are all destined for greatness.
Dory met Nemo and Marlin by chance, but through mutual understanding and compassion, began to embrace them with open fins. While they are clownfish and she is a blue tang, they set their differences aside and worked together to achieve common goals.
Perhaps I found my adoptive family, or they found me. It doesn't really matter. The fact of the matter is that we are together and that we love one another dearly.
As the movie came to an end, I realized that even though Dory had been searching for her family and for answers all along, that those who loved her were by her side the entire time.
Dory and I and all of YOU have been shaped into who you are today by experiences, people, feelings and thoughts.
So I may never truly know how to answer people when they ask me where I'm from.
Dory is a fish and I am Irina. I may not speak whale and she can't live outside of water but together we share this common bond and have learned to accept that . . .
It's not where you come from. It's where you belong.
