My sister Delaney has always wanted to be a writer. Since a young age, she has always written these amazing pieces, and it has always been something she had excelled at. Watching her passion continue and develop throughout her life has been such an amazing thing to watch, and her confidence in herself and her writing is absolutely astounding. She has always had this great, massive plan of her life: her career developments all mapped out and ready to be tackled. How I wished to be her--to have something that you are so passionate about and eager to live your life doing is something I dreamt of having just a taste of.
Meanwhile, in my life, my idea of what I wanted to do changed with the Louisiana weather (which, if you didn't know, changes on the second). From nursing, to clothing design, to cooking, even becoming a Disney channel star (to be honest I am honestly still hoping that will happen), I never felt assured in the plans I made in terms of what I would be spending the rest of my life doing. Going through high school, I felt like the pressure was always on to figure it out. In the midst of figuring out who you are, we also were supposed to figure out who we were supposed to be for the rest of our lives. I found myself trying to fit in these “molds” of careers; molds that I just didn’t feel comfortable in, and I began to dread deciding what I was going to do. I think people assumed that I was being lazy, or simply just didn’t have motivation to do anything with my life, but that was so far from the truth. I knew I had so much to offer and that I could do amazing things, but I also knew that making a quick decision wouldn’t make me happy.
By my senior year, I finally made a decision. I applied to college, confident that I would be content pursuing a career in political science and that I too would have the passion and motivation my sister had. I happily scheduled classes and was so excited about my newfound enthusiasm and to have a life plan that was finally coming into place. However, as I went through my first semester of college, those same doubts that had clogged my mind throughout high school came back. Did I enjoy what I was learning? Was I happy? Could I see myself doing this for the rest of my life? At first I think I told myself that I just didn’t like school, but deep down I knew that was not the case. I knew there was something better out there for me, something that would make me love school and the classes I was taking, and even more importantly, love the person I was working hard to become.
Even though the same thoughts of doubt and worry began to emerge, I realized something: it’s okay to not know what we are doing with our lives. I had spent my whole time in high school trying to grow up and figure out what I was going to do in the future, thinking that once I reached the real world I would not struggle with uncertainty and that everything would run smoothly, just to get to the real world and realize that those feelings do not really go away, and, in all honesty, I am okay with that. Actually, I am more than okay with that, I am ecstatic about it. I let my indecisiveness drive me to figure out my true passions, something that I am still doing today. While I know someday I will figure it all out, today is not that day, and I still have a long journey. But how exciting it is to know that something better is out there just waiting for me to find it!
So, to the people that have no idea what they are doing with their lives, stay calm! You are not alone! Take comfort in the fact that we have this time in college to try new things and find our interests. Do not settle on a path that seems like it could maybe be a "right fit" for other people. Strive to become exactly who you want to be, even if it takes a little more time and energy to get there. I still don't know exactly what I want to do by any means, but I know the more chances I take and interests I explore, the closer I am to finding out what I want to do and, more importantly, who I want to be, and that in itself is all the motivation I need.
