Finding yourself is not an easy task. Some of you might not know who you are yet, but that is the beginning. I cannot count how many times I've heard “the start of finding any solution is knowing there is a problem.” Relating this to your life is exponentially important to your happiness and the happiness of others around you. The disclaimer is that you will never know 100 percent who you are, but it’s the little things that matter most.
Finding activities, hobbies, friends etc. that make you happy is the start. More than likely you will find yourself branching out to other aspects of life and experimenting with other things that can make you happier. It sounds simple, but there are many aspects of your life that play a part in being the happiest you can be. In finding happiness, there will always be strife. Pushing through the strife is pushing yourself to find the most beneficial environment for you. Life is like a sine wave; you can't reach the top until you start from the bottom, and you can't reach the bottom until you leave the peak.
The difficulty, or simplicity, of being yourself comes to your environment. There are environments that suppress you, or help you excel. Filtering these different environments is crucial. Here are a couple questions you can ask yourself if you can't seem to figure out whether you like where you are or not:
Do I thoroughly enjoy what this environment does to me emotionally?
Man or woman, emotions are inevitable. However, everyone deals with emotion in different ways. Someone might cry when he/she is sad, and when he/she is happy. Someone else might cry when he/she is happy, and kick the wall when he/she is sad. The point is if you zone in on your different emotions, trace them back to the source, and determine whether that source makes you happy or not, filtering environments and your enjoyment of them will be that much easier.
Do I wake up in the morning excited to be in this environment?
Think about marriage; if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, wouldn't you want to wake up excited to see him or her? Relating this to your environment is easy and efficient to finding happiness.
If I had a chance to experiment with a different environment would I take it?
Often times experimenting with different environments indicates the environment you're currently in is not the most beneficial to your happiness. However, some are the happiest when they surround themselves with a handful of different environments. In this case, refer back to the first question above to determine whether you enjoy being in one, or many environments.
Am I hanging on to an environment that I used to enjoy but don't anymore?
Leaving a suppressing environment that used to be the highlight of your day is extremely difficult. But the question remains the same and knowing that you're hanging on to this environment is the start of the solution. Experimenting with others is the next step.
Choosing your environment is one aspect of happiness, but someone who chooses you to be in their environment is a whole different ball game. There will be times in your life where someone else's environment becomes yours. This may or may not be good for you, and referring to the first question above might help you determine so. If this new environment is beneficial for you, roll with it. If it's not, here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself to determine how to part from this new environment:
How can I deter this person/these people from assuming I don't enjoy their company?
At times, the environment you find yourself in might not be the most beneficial, but each individual person is. Be honest with yourself and these people, more than likely they will understand your honesty and take a look at themselves as well. They might want to burn the bridge themselves to cope with their loss, but at that point it will be easier for you to decipher the true friends from the past acquaintances.
How can I include friends from my past environment in my new environment?
It's as simple as asking them to join you: whether it's a night drinking, or learning how to surf. Burning bridges can be done indirectly, and asking them to join you is a great way to avoid it.
All in all, people change, environments change, and the world changes. Friends will remain with you for better or for worse. Finding yourself and being yourself makes this world just a little bit better. In all aspects of life, there are things you'll love and things you'll hate. What I do and suggest is to repeat this quote from an underrated artist of love and life, Bob Marley: “Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?”
