Life flows in a series of phases: the good, the bad and the in between. One would logically assume that when you are in the good phase, at an all-time high, is when you are your truest and best self. This is where you "thrive" so to speak and discover who you really are. However, I want you to completely negate that idea and instead think the opposite.
What if at our lowest points, the points in which it all feels so bad, that we are encompassing this idea of a best self?
It may be hard to conceptualize and truly believe this idea, as your face is tear-stained and your heart is broken. When everything feels so bad how could it ever be good again? But the real question to ask is, how can I take this bad and channel it into something good?
That something good needs to be self-improvement and self-evolution. The beauty of life is that it is ever changing and no two days ever look or feel the exact same. Every second you are breathing is a second to learn and grow in some way. If we stayed behaving and acting exactly the same we'd be moving in never-ending circles.
Certain things in life knock us down and for some people more things than others.
A death, a breakup, a failed exam, a bout of depression. However, it is in how we take ourselves when we're down and build back up. These low movements are our most vulnerable, our absolute weakest. When something goes wrong people tend to say "find the good in all the bad." But what if instead, we start to find the growth?
Yes, the growth in the all bad. The point of which we start to realize that the bad is really the space for opportunity. The space to find that "best self" I spoke of earlier. In order for something to be positive, there had to have been a negative before it. Newton's third law literally states that for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. This has to hold true in life too.
For each bad thing placed in your pathway know that there is something good coming your way. It's physics.
Before you get to that good, I urge you to really look and dive deep into yourself. Ask those tough questions and find where you can improve for the next time. Do not dwell on the why of the situation. It has happened and the past is out of our control. Instead, start to ask, how did I act in this situation and how can I act differently. The only person that you can truly control in life is you and you yourself. Make those decisions for you. It is OK to be selfish when it comes to working on who you are and who you want to be.
It is also important to remember that not every situation is necessarily your fault. Life does have its curves and bends that we don't see coming. In those situations know that because this happened you are stronger. You now have the power to help someone else who may deal with this in the future or if you have to again.
A slightly innocent example to put it all into perspective is as follows: every time you eat the same flavor of ice cream, you got a stomach ache.
It would make clear sense to stop eating that flavor, it doesn't mean to not eat ice cream at all, just not that flavor. It's the same thing with any negative situation placed before us. Don't close yourself off because of past experiences, but let them guide you into more positive ones. The negative should be your fuel to be and do better. There is so much growth that exists within that in between phase to propel you towards the good.
Life flows in a series of phases: the good, the bad and the in between. It is in how we make our time count and push the negative into the positive that really counts. Just let go and forgive yourself, the boy that broke your heart, or that your parents divorced. Keep the lessons that you learn close, in order to improve your life and the interactions you have with the world around you.
Life just happens, you can either drown in it or pick yourself up and grow tall.