It's that special time of the year again. The bi-annual sacrifice where students use their Netflix and chill time for less enjoyable activities such as: cramming, giving up procrastination, visiting professors during office hours, and occasional weeping. Yes, the four types of finals week students. Each one, just attempting to survive another semester without being hopelessly screwed over by Blackboard.

Introducing:

The Procrastinator.

The one who knows they have a long paper, understands that they need to finish it, but will proceed to watch reruns of Orange is the New Black instead of beginning their 14 page assignment. I mean what's wrong with promising to start at 3:00? 4:00?

5:30? 6:30?

Then realize you only have 4 hours left to turn in the one paper that determines whether you get a B- or an F this semester?

As long as you get the job done, right? Then remember to make that promise when you're done, to never do that again next semester. Netflix knows you're lying to yourself.

The Crammer:

You're smart. You know it.

You just rather use that extra energy for more useful things, like memorizing the pizza guy's number, figuring out how much work you don't have to do to still recieve a good grade, how will you get away with not reading the text but try to make yourself look like you did. You know how to persuade professors, and if it doesn't work you know what comes next. You got your index cards in your backpocket, the sticky notes all over your house, the extra bit of coffee to keep you up at night, you even make sure to use the terms you need to memorize midway through your sentence.

You need this grade, graduation is so close yet so far, and your expensive tuition all boils down to trying to remember the notes that you should've taken all semester.

The Slick Beggar:

We see you, all up in the office hours.

You know you used your three absences this semester, hell you're asking for help for an essay that was due two weeks ago. Everyone may look at you with the side eye but you know that you need this grade and no one is going to stop you from recieving what you deserve. This could be the difference between a D+ and a C-, your GPA depends on it, your financial aid depends on it. At the family holiday get together say it loud and proud

"I did not fail my classes this semester".

The Comforter

The one that either knows they got it together and is willing to help their fellow comrade or the student that is completely sure they failed.

but will offer up their shoulder as a tribute for the weepers. You are the appreciated one. You fight on our side in battle and will grant healing for the soldier growing weak. You're there with the comfort food, the peptalk and the empathetic tap on the back.

Your presence illuminates the room as you hear our battle cry and reach out to our stumbling hands with a bro-fist.

Happy Finals Week and may the curve be in your favor!