Finals Week As Described By Dwight Schrute
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Politics and Activism

Finals Week As Described By Dwight Schrute

Beet farmers take tests, too.

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Finals Week As Described By Dwight Schrute
huntergatherer.com

Finals week is intimidating, but it can be absolutely menacing without a plan. Before you start to study, you need to think of what your strategy is going to be.

There is so much promise going into finals week. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel (aka mom's cooking and free WiFi) if you can only make it through this last round of exams. Your backpack is stuffed, thermos full and you are off to the library. Let's go!

Getting started isn't always easy. I mean, no one will even know how studious you are if you don't take a couple Snapchats and post an Instagram of your study setup. Plus, where did all these people come from? The library is even above Walmart on the "Best Places To People Watch" list.

You will eventually get started, though, and this time will quickly turn into a caffeine-fueled stress fest. This is the point where you finally realize that you know nothing.Then comes the panicking and regret for every minute of class you spent on Pinterest or daydreaming about the leftover Mexican food in your refrigerator.

At some point you will reach the stage where you start to question every life decision you have ever made. Do you even like this major? Should you just drop out of college? Maybe you could be a karate instructor? How much do they get paid?

Next comes the delirium. By now, you have taken in so much information that your brain has physically cut you off. The different subjects and concepts are becoming such a blur that you cannot even remember the simplest of facts.

Your sleep deprivation paired with the multiple breakdowns you had alone in your library cubicle make you a threat to anyone you come in contact with on the morning of your exam. That overly cheery Starbucks worker you usually find charming? Not today.

Of course you will also get caught in the herd of zombified students all headed to their respective deaths... I mean exams. Again I ask, where did all of these people come from?

Finally, the moment is here and that test booklet is smacked onto your desk. You are confident. You are prepared. Then your professor says the most heinous word in all of education: comprehensive.

Then something magical happens, you realize that you actually learned this semester.

Now begins the waiting game. You will monitor your computer closer than security at Fort Knox waiting for your grade to be posted. Honestly, how hard can it be to run a Scantron through a machine and type a number in your grade book?

The alert has finally come in that a new grade has been posted. So many thoughts run through your mind when you see the letter "A" but you mostly:

Celebration time! Who cares that you have slept three hours in five days? Who cares that your main food groups are coffee and Skittles? You did not work this hard for nothing. Time to load up the gang and let off all of the stress of school.

Until next semester, finals week.




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