Finals Week As Told By Amy Schumer
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Finals week... the most dreaded time in any college student's life. "Go to college," they said. "It'll be fun," they said. Yeah, right. Finals week is 10 percent studying, 50 percent mental breakdowns, and 40 percent Googling what jobs you can get without a college degree. Here is the finals week struggle every student has gone through, as demonstrated by the ever-relatable Amy Schumer:


1. After Spring Break, the weeks start flying by faster and faster, and you notice people around you start using that disgusting 'F' word...

"Finals." You suddenly realize that the fun is over, and it's time for you to start buckling down if you want to save your grade.


2. You crack open your $150 textbook for the first time all semester, and start to hit the books.

Except, wait, this is totally boring and sucky. Do you really have to read all this? Isn't there some kind of Quizlet with all the answers you can Google?


3. You try to convince your friends to go out because you cannot look at a textbook for one more minute.

But your friends are all like, "No, I care about my future, blah blah blah."


4. Since your friends are all being total nerds, you sit down at the computer, intent on studying, but you get distracted by other, more interesting things.

Things like celebrity Twitter drama and your crush's Facebook page and the sale on your favorite online shop.


5. Hours later and you haven't gotten a singe bit of studying done...

But you ate two plates of spaghetti and binge-watched an entire murder mystery documentary series on Netflix, so... progress?


6. You decide to start actually paying attention in class instead doing what you usually do (using your computer to iMessage your friends and/or staring into space thinking about what you're going to eat later) only to find that the professor is speaking absolute gibberish.

How did you miss him covering 500 pages of a textbook?


7. At the beginning of the semester, you professor told the class "Don't come crying to me a week before the finals begging for extra credit."

Yet there you are, a week before finals, crying in his office.


8. So your professor is basically Satan.

Fine. You didn't need his stupid extra credit anyway. You have to focus on passing the class right now, but you vow to get your revenge later. We'll see who has the last laugh when professor evaluations go out.


9. With no options left, you go the tried-and-true college route – multiple all-nighters with a diet consisting only of coffee and Redbull.

The times you aren't studying, you reward yourself with wine and other alcoholic beverages, because you totally deserve it, being all studious and stuff.


10. After all those all-nighters, after all of that stress, you're absolutely sure you're gonna pass...

Until you sit down to take the exam and forget everything you ever learned, ever, like:


11. Oh well, all you can do now is pray the professor has mercy on your soul and grants you a decent curve.

It's out of your hands now; might as well blackout and forget this week ever happened.



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