I Finally Watched 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them!': Some Thoughts
Entertainment

I Finally Watched 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them!': Some Thoughts

449
GeorgeKelley.org

I must admit, to my everlasting shame, that I wasn't all that excited about Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them when it first premiered back in November . I was when the project was first announced in 2013, but by the time November 2016 came around, Harry Potter had been finished for over five years. I was certain that nothing would measure up, and Cursed Child only proved me right. I also couldn't imagine how anyone could make one movie out of a fictional textbook, let alone three or five as I'd been hearing, and I couldn't imagine a HARRY POTTER film without our beloved main characters.

With all that in mind, I made the decision to skip the debut of Fantastic Beasts in theaters. I didn't regret the decision, but I did start to become curious once spoilers for the film began showing up online with increasing regularity. By the time the film came out on DVD a couple of weeks ago, I decided to give it a shot. I am SO GLAD I did, because Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was an absolute delight. I feel the need to publicly apologize to J.K. Rowling for underestimating her. I'm also going to gush about this movie for the rest of the article. Here are some of my thoughts about Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Obviously, spoilers abound.

  1. Newton Artemis Fido "Newt" Scamander is a cutie, and I love him already.

  2. HUFFLEPUFF REPRESENT!!

  3. Am I still asexual if I would let Percival Graves [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [ REALLY CENSORED]?

    Of course the answer is yes, because an attraction to Percival Graves transcends mere sexual orientation.
  4. Some of the spoilers (and fanfiction) I saw about this movie made me expect that Mary Lou Barebone was a shrieking harpy of a woman, but she's...actually not? Throughout the movie, she's soft-spoken, articulate and earnest. Even when she's clearly about to beat Credence, she's never a furious, spitting caricature of an abuser.
    (Excuse me while I go cry in a corner for a few minutes)

    Instead, Mary Lou appears to genuinely believe that Credence not only deserves but needs to be punished, and she doesn't take pleasure in it. I still despised her and realized she was a bad person, but one of the things I found interesting about her is the potential for others to see her as not a bad person. It's insidious; it's terrifying; and it's also the reality for many abuse victims. Their abusers don't look frightening, so it's hard to ask for help.
    Props to JK Rowling for the realistic and sensitive portrayal of abuse.

  5. The subject of abuse brings me to other examples of more mature elements to this film. It's not a Darker™, Grittier™ reimagining of the Harry Potter world (Thank Christ), but the film does acknowledge that the majority of its audience is people who grew up with Harry and are now adults. Therefore, the protagonists are adults. The film uses a more subdued color palette than the early Harry Potter films. There's a little more adult language (I think it was just the word “hell” once or twice, but still). There are also more overt examples of violence, abuse and sexuality than in the first Harry Potter film. However, none of that ever crosses the line and becomes gratuitous and uncomfortably voyeuristic. The film conducts itself more maturely than most. Now, back to to your regularly scheduled, vaguely chronological stream of consciousness!

  6. The niffler in the bank is hilarious.

  7. Jacob Kowalski is a delight, and he makes a damn fine audience proxy.





  8. I relate to Tina, because I, too, am perpetually Stressed Out


  9. I don't know if it was intentional, but I got the vibe that Newt is autistic, and I thought that was pretty cool.

  10. One thing that bothered me is that Tina got mustard on her lip at the beginning of the movie, and I'm pretty sure it stays there for the next half hour. Then, it just disappeared. I wondered, “Why bother to have it happen if it's never pointed out and fixed?” We got the first, but not the second.
  11. After the movie, when I actively sought out more stuff about it, I learned there was a deleted scene that addressed the mustard. Percival Graves beckons Tina to him and uses his own handkerchief to wipe her lip. Tina is wide-eyed and clearly not breathing the entire time.



    I'm going to guess this scene was deleted, because there's trying to be a more mature film...and then there's Graves making every pair of panties in the audience shoot off like fireworks. It was too much.
  12. Seraphina Picquery was kind of disappointing. Sure, she had Iconic™ looks and presence for days...

    ... but she was still an ineffective leader and a pretty boring character. She dismisses Tina when she first brings Newt in and then tries to blame Tina for that mistake.

    “You've known for twenty-fours that an unregistered wizard set magical beasts loose in New York, and you see fit to tell us only when a man has been killed?”

    Well, she tried to come forward immediately, but you decided she wasn't worth your time, Madam President.

    When she wasn't being a lackluster leader, she was being a lackluster character. The majority of her lines were some variation of “We can't be exposed. It'll mean war.” It was exciting to see a black woman in a position of power, but her potential was unfortunately wasted.

  13. Back to regular film time, I would like to say that a Murtlap looks like a demonic combination of a pig, a porcupine, and a puffed up naked mole rat.

  14. I'm really amazed Jacob Kowalski's been as nice as he has so far, because it really hasn't been his day. By this point in the movie, he has:
    1) been denied a loan for his bakery,
    2) seen stuff that would make anyone question their sanity,
    3) almost been arrested and/or shot for robbing a bank,
    4) been bitten by a monster whose bite can make flames shoot out of his anus, and
    5) been deemed unworthy for marriage.

    Rude, Tina. Very rude.

    Don't worry, Jacob. I'd marry you. We'd live in chubby harmony with blissful baked goods.

  15. Henry Shaw Jr. is a massive jerkface, so when it comes to what happened to him...

  16. Queenie is the most adorable character ever, and I would die for her. I will also ship her and Jacob in hell.


  17. Queenie brings up some interesting questions about Legilimency though. The books and previous films led me to believe that it was a very deliberate branch of magic. However, Queenie seems to do it involuntarily, like how Sybill Trelawney occasionally makes involuntary prophecies. Are there more like Queenie? Can Divination actually be precise and accurate? Maybe we'll see in subsequent material.

  18. Every time Credence appears onscreen, I'm like “this poor, touch-starved Gay™.”
    Fun Fact/Headcanon
    : This makes the second time Grindelwald has charmed a repressed, overpowered gay boy with an unfortunate home life into helping him with his world domination plot.

  19. The case is really cool A+ creativity for magical beasts and fake habitats.

  20. “They went that way, Officer” is the funniest line in the entire movie.

  21. Do not underestimate Newt and his mating dance.

  22. Poor Jacob, honestly. Not only did he get chased by an Erumpent (which is basically a giant, rhino thing), he's being chased by a giant rhino thing who wants to mate with him. Again, this is not his day.

    At least he got to meet Queenie.

  23. Here's Madam President being Iconic™ again.

  24. “Impound that case, Graves.” Here's the sultry Mr. Graves using wandless and nonverbal magic. No big deal.

  25. “Don't hurt my creatures. They're not dangerous! They're not dangerous!”

  26. The above gif also applies to the explanation about the obscurus/obscurial.

  27. The interrogation scene single-handedly gives away the fact that Graves is secretly a sociopath. Forget coldly saying that a child killed by an obscurus is a “host.” Forget sentencing our protagonists to death. This right here...

    ...is all the proof we need that Graves ain't right. He looks Extra AF, holding his hand to his head like that. 10 bucks his thought process was as follows:
    “This is how to look distressed about sending someone to die, right? Should I swoon? No, that's too much.”

  28. I would like to state for the record that Bernadette the Executioner is the most terrifying character in this whole movie.
    “Don't that look good? You wanna get in? Huh?”

    No. No, I do not want to get in a death potion. Thank you, lady who enjoys her job way too much.

  29. Both executioners are terrifying, to be honest. Bernadette probably creeps in hospitals and mercy kills people who have minor injuries. The other executioner, who I have named Helga, probably microwaves hamsters on days she doesn't have an execution scheduled.

  30. Jokes aside, I felt so bad for Queenie during this part. Can you imagine just going about your day at work, and then suddenly you can hear your sister about to die? This is made even more tragic, since we know Tina and Queenie are each other's only family in the world.

  31. All four protagonists get an A+ on escape artistry.

  32. Is Leta Lestrange crazy like Bellatrix, I wonder? Even if she's not, she doesn't sound like a very good person...At least according to Queenie, and I would trust Queenie with my life.

  33. I still can't decide if the singer in the Blind Pig is a house elf or a goblin.

  34. “I love house elves. My uncle's a house elf.” Jacob gets all the best lines.

  35. Dougal the Demiguise is adorable, and the Occamy is cool-looking. That is all.
  36. Graves done messed up.
  37. If someone asked me to summarize this movie in two words, I would say, “Poor Credence.”

  38. Grindelgraves continues to be Extra AF. No slashing hexes or Cruciatus Curses for him. WE USE ACTUAL LIGHTNING BOLTS TO TORTURE OUR ENEMIES.

  39. I refuse to believe that Credence is dead. That tiny piece of Obscurus at the end was him.

  40. Graves turns from sexy cop to cock-eyed Johnny Depp, and the world weeps.

  41. On that note, I also refuse to believe that Percival Graves is dead. Moody needed to be alive for Polyjuice potion. Why not Percival?

  42. As majestic and helpful as Frank the Thunderbird is, the Swooping Evil has the honor of being the most useful animal in this movie. It helps break Newt and Tina out of MACUSA, it restrains Grindelwald, and its venom works like a mass Memory Charm. Good job, Swooping Evil.

  43. Last week, some of you might have heard a high-pitched noise with no discernible source. That was actually me wailing in despair as Jacob's memory was erased.

  44. It turned into a happy wail though when he finally gets his bakery, and Queenie pays him a visit. (JACOB X QUEENIE LIVES, BITCHES!!)

I've heard Fantastic Beasts is going to be a trilogy, and I've hear
d it's going to be five films. Either way, this film was great, and I'll be waiting eagerly for the sequels.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIKdnMHcGr/

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Odyssey Webinar: Writing Reviews About Your Favorite Products

See you on Wednesday, July 8 at 4:00 p.m. EST.

On July 8, our Lifestyle editor is hosting a video webinar focused on writing reviews about your favorite brands and products –– and you're invited! You must have an Odyssey account to attend.

Keep Reading... Show less
Tips

Odyssey Templates: Review A Product You Love

Rave about that product here as much as you have been to your friends.

There are few things less satisfying than giving someone a product recommendation only to find out they actually took the recommendation and love it just as much as you told them they would. There exists a great sense of gratification in knowing someone valued your opinion enough to go out and make a purchase based on it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments