Where to begin with this "film"? This isn't a typical film review, and this isn't a typical film. "Cool Cat Saves The Kids" is a children's safety movie created by Derek Savage. While technically correct, the previous sentence does injustice to the insanity you'll find in this piece of trash.
I've seen it three times, and I still feel there's more editing, sound, and cinematography errors to spot. So let's begin talking about the "coolest" cat in town.
"Cool Cat" opens with a poorly done animation decrying bullying and praising Cool Cat, the titular character, and apparent messiah of children. One immediate problem is the constant and gratuitous use of Comic Sans. Everywhere. Moving on, a few minutes later, you can see the shadow of the cameraman, and hear him breathing.
Why did no one try to fix it? Who edited this? Was there an editor? Oh, and before you think, "hmm, maybe the acting may be okay", stop that thought. It's bad.
The core cast is Cool Cat, apparently played by Cool Cat (no actor is listed), and Derek Savage, known as "Daddy" Derek, ugh. Supporting characters include Maria, the most generic little girl ever, who is inexplicably the best friend to an adult-sized cat man, Butch the bully, who exists purely to provide conflict, and Cool Cat's mom, Mrs. Cat, which is the same costume but with lips and breasts. She is married to Derek, a human, and they had a cat son. Uh, right.
So enough beating around the bush, let's talk about Cool Cat. Here we have a grown man in a full body cat costume, who is supposed to be a child. He is constantly yelling his lines, being painfully obvious and friendly, and everyone loves him. Did I mention he only wears "Cool Cat Loves You" shirts, and his room is covered in Cool Cat merchandise? Because it is.
You may have noticed I am avoiding talking about the plot. That's because there isn't one. The film is really just a series of barely connected segments about kid's safety topics. Aside from the insufferable twenty minutes where Cool Cat sings garbage songs and is in a parade, where promotes the movie itself. While in the movie. Dear Lord.
As far as children's safety goes, this movie fails at that, which is the purpose of the movie. There's a section on crossing the street where he runs across the road without looking both ways, and when Cool Cat gets cyber-bullied, he does the worst option and replies, instead of ignoring and reporting. Immediately afterward, he has an insane dream sequence that looks like he's tripping on acid.
"Cool Cat Saves the Kids" is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but at the same time, it is great. If you ever want a movie that is so bad you will laugh the whole way through, then check it out. And remember, "Cool Cat Loves You!"
