I Am Starting To Become The Girl I Should've Been A Long Time Ago

I Am Starting To Become The Girl I Should've Been A Long Time Ago

Better late than never, right?

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I am starting to become the girl I should've been a long time ago

It took me 20 years to get to this part of my life, and I am not sure I am even ready for it. I am starting to become the girl that is putting herself first more often. I have shed too many tears for others and have too many footprints on me from being stepped on. I have realized that I need to be aware of my own needs and put those over other people's wants. I am slowly taking a step back from being the 'people-pleaser' that I know many call me and am turning towards a woman that is more self-determined and speaks from her heart.

I am starting to have more realizations about what I need in order to succeed in this life. I could not see myself being the way I am now, 5 years ago. Not even 2 years ago. But I am happy that I went through my obstacles in order to get to where I am today. I am starting to learn that people will not like me, and that is okay. As well as I may not like some people, and that is also okay. I am coming to terms that everything happens for a reason and that in the end, God has a plan. I used to question a lot, almost every day, for all the bad things that happened to me; but I am beginning to understand that some of the bad things that happen to me are ways for Him to look after me.

I am learning that it is okay to be alone, but not lonely. Sometimes I need quality time and other times I want to be surrounded by others, I am slowly balancing out between the two, to keep myself sane.

I am starting to become the girl that notices that I am growing up; that I need to take responsibility and to come up with a true plan of what I need to do with my life. I am only 21 years old but my life is constantly changing.

I am becoming the girl that is taking more risks and is dreaming big about going to New York and to make a new for herself in the journalism business. Even though it will be hard, competitive and will take pretty much every fiber of my being, it will be worth it.

I understand that as I take on more challenges and gain more scars, that they will just be reminders of how far I have come. I am no longer the little girl who was abused by her father or being consumed by all her negative self-talk and bullies. I am not longer that girl that wakes up every morning waiting for something to happen.

I wake up now, planning on what I am going to make happen.

I am starting to become the girl I should've been a long time ago and I wonder where this girl will take me in life.

Cover Image Credit:

Deb Greengold

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12 Bible Verses For Faith In Hard Times

Remind yourself that God is always with you.
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Lately, I have felt lost at what God wants for my life. Ever since I've come back to UWG everything has been horrible. It seems that I can't catch a break. I'm trying my best to focus on school, work, and extracurricular activities. But it's hard when I'm having issues with my apartment/roommates and knowing my family back home is struggling and needs many prayers. All, I keep thinking is maybe Carrollton isn't where I belong anymore. I've asked God if He can guide me in the right direction. Below, I have found Bible verses that have helped get me through these rough, past couple of weeks.

1. Isaiah 43:2

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you."

2. Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act."

3. Romans 8:18

"The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."

4. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed in strength, and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

5. Joshua 1:9

"Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous."

6. Ecclesiastes 3:1

"There is a time for everything and a reason for every activity under the heavens."

7. Isaiah 41:10

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

8. Isaiah 66:9

"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord."

9. Psalm 91:4

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings, you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

10. Psalm 62:1-2

"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him, He alone is my rock and my salvation."

11. Philippians 4:13

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."

12. Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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Why I Gave Up Nothing For Lent

Adding. Not Subtracting.

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Chocolate eggs and jelly beans! Growing up, Easter meant candy. The Easter Bunny delightfully left behind a treasure of treats for my little brother and me. In recent years, however, I have come to understand the spiritual importance of the celebration and the period leading up to it.

I am Roman Catholic -- always have been and probably, always will be. As a Catholic, Lent is a meaningful season of sacrifice. It is the 40-day period before Easter, symbolizing Jesus' withdrawal and fasting in the desert for 40 days. Following Christ's example, Lent is a period of self-discipline, fasting, and reflection for each of us. Lent begins on Ash Wednesday, and culminates on Good Friday, the day Jesus' crucifixion is commemorated. Good Friday also begins the Triduum, three holy days leading up to Easter Sunday. Easter is the celebration of Jesus rising from the dead—a miracle on Earth.

In simpler days, making a Lenten sacrifice was about giving up something I loved—whether it was pasta or chocolate. I never really committed to it and my parents were pretty loose about rules. They just cared about whether I understood the concept of Lent and Easter and tried my best to be mindful of sacrifice. Only this year, I started a different type of Lenten tradition that has been successful, thus far. I believe my personal triumph is because I will be confirmed in my Catholic faith at the end of April, and I am growing stronger as a person because of it.

Instead of giving up something for Lent, I decided to add an activity to my weekly routine: Scripture reading and reflection writing. Just like we read for school, I am reading for my spiritual self. We learn history, life lessons, and more about ourselves from reading, interpreting, and writing. I have committed to reading a devotional almost every day and examining the corresponding Biblical passages. From there, I write. It is one-hundred percent reflection writing, but I notice myself becoming open and having clearer thoughts.

It also helps that my grandfather runs a blog called "Celebrate the Psalms." On this blog, contributors around the world reflect on the week's Responsorial Psalm, which is featured in the upcoming Mass. Reflection questions are included in the blog and followers send in their answers as it pertains to their lives. My once-a-week commitment, while not a lot, becomes very therapeutic for me. I ponder and count my blessings.

While such reading and writing activities are not sacrificial in nature, they are adding so much to my Lenten journey. The added reflection I enjoy nurtures my soul. By the time Easter comes around, I am hoping my Lenten commitments will feel even more natural and integrated into everyday life. This way, I can enjoy those Easter chocolate candies without the guilt and with a knowing that God sees my dedication to Him and my willingness to learn.

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