I Am Starting To Become The Girl I Should've Been A Long Time Ago

I Am Starting To Become The Girl I Should've Been A Long Time Ago

Better late than never, right?


I am starting to become the girl I should've been a long time ago

It took me 20 years to get to this part of my life, and I am not sure I am even ready for it. I am starting to become the girl that is putting herself first more often. I have shed too many tears for others and have too many footprints on me from being stepped on. I have realized that I need to be aware of my own needs and put those over other people's wants. I am slowly taking a step back from being the 'people-pleaser' that I know many call me and am turning towards a woman that is more self-determined and speaks from her heart.

I am starting to have more realizations about what I need in order to succeed in this life. I could not see myself being the way I am now, 5 years ago. Not even 2 years ago. But I am happy that I went through my obstacles in order to get to where I am today. I am starting to learn that people will not like me, and that is okay. As well as I may not like some people, and that is also okay. I am coming to terms that everything happens for a reason and that in the end, God has a plan. I used to question a lot, almost every day, for all the bad things that happened to me; but I am beginning to understand that some of the bad things that happen to me are ways for Him to look after me.

I am learning that it is okay to be alone, but not lonely. Sometimes I need quality time and other times I want to be surrounded by others, I am slowly balancing out between the two, to keep myself sane.

I am starting to become the girl that notices that I am growing up; that I need to take responsibility and to come up with a true plan of what I need to do with my life. I am only 21 years old but my life is constantly changing.

I am becoming the girl that is taking more risks and is dreaming big about going to New York and to make a new for herself in the journalism business. Even though it will be hard, competitive and will take pretty much every fiber of my being, it will be worth it.

I understand that as I take on more challenges and gain more scars, that they will just be reminders of how far I have come. I am no longer the little girl who was abused by her father or being consumed by all her negative self-talk and bullies. I am not longer that girl that wakes up every morning waiting for something to happen.

I wake up now, planning on what I am going to make happen.

I am starting to become the girl I should've been a long time ago and I wonder where this girl will take me in life.

Cover Image Credit:

Deb Greengold

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12 Bible Verses For Faith In Hard Times

Remind yourself that God is always with you.

Lately, I have felt lost at what God wants for my life. Ever since I've come back to UWG everything has been horrible. It seems that I can't catch a break. I'm trying my best to focus on school, work, and extracurricular activities. But it's hard when I'm having issues with my apartment/roommates and knowing my family back home is struggling and needs many prayers. All, I keep thinking is maybe Carrollton isn't where I belong anymore. I've asked God if He can guide me in the right direction. Below, I have found Bible verses that have helped get me through these rough, past couple of weeks.

1. Isaiah 43:2

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you."

2. Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act."

3. Romans 8:18

"The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."

4. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed in strength, and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

5. Joshua 1:9

"Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous."

6. Ecclesiastes 3:1

"There is a time for everything and a reason for every activity under the heavens."

7. Isaiah 41:10

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

8. Isaiah 66:9

"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord."

9. Psalm 91:4

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings, you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

10. Psalm 62:1-2

"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him, He alone is my rock and my salvation."

11. Philippians 4:13

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."

12. Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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We Have Chains, But Jesus Can Break Them

Jesus came to call and love the sinners, not the righteous.


After viewing the music video "Chain Breaker" by Zach Williams yesterday, I began to think about the meaning behind the words being sung. I suppose we all do that subconsciously, for when we like the message of a song, then we can fully appreciate the song in its entirety. We hear a song, we like it and we find our identity behind a song. In the music video, Zach Williams is playing "Chain Breaker" to a whole room full of prison inmates.

Seeing Zach play to this room of inmates made me have a deeper meaning with our faith in God.

No, we are not convicted felons, but each and every person has their struggles, their "chains" so to speak. These chains can be different things like depression or even drug and alcohol addiction.

Because we have these chains, we are as bound and hopeless like people who are in prison, unless we turn to God for hope and strength.

While I have never been to prison, I know people who are or were in prison. They have described it to be a terrible place. Things happen in prison that are hard to take in, like "shivving" (stabbing someone with a shiv, a knife made from things like toothbrushes), solitary confinement (being thrown into a dark padded room for days and weeks at a time, with no one to talk to) and sometimes even group fights (people taking turns beating you up).

Prison inmates need God's love and mercy like we need it.

No sin is too severe for the Lord to forgive. In God's eyes, we are no better than people who are in prison. God loves us all the same. In the music video, I saw prison inmates shouting and worshipping the Lord, hands extended up in the air in worship.

In the Bible, Jesus Christ Our Lord called Matthew to be a disciple of Him. When the Pharisees (people who were steadfast and unwavering in the Mosaic law) saw that Jesus called Matthew, a tax collector (tax collectors were highly despised at the time and was known to forcibly take money from people) and was accepting of Matthew eating with Him, they criticized Jesus for it. Jesus heard this and replied "Those who are well, have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)

Jesus came to heal and love the broken, the people without hope, the people who were looked down upon by the Pharisees.

Reading about Jesus healing and loving people who were sinners (like prostitutes) gives me hope that He can love me. I view myself as no better than people who are in prison or people who like to do evil. We all are sinners. We all will have to answer to God for what we have done in this life. My answer will be "I entrust my heart and my soul to Jesus Christ, My Lord."

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