Coming into college, I thought I would have my life together. That did not happen in any way, shape, or form, and I realized very recently that it is OK not to have everything in life figured out at age 19.
I am not totally confident in my major, and I don’t know for sure what I want to do for the rest of my life. How is a person supposed to make that big of a decision so early? What if I choose the wrong thing, or I don’t get a job right out of college? These type of thoughts literally go through my head every day. And I feel like if I do make the wrong choice, I’m doomed to waste years of my life and tons of money. I feel a lot of pressure to make the right decision, and I won’t know if I did until later on in my life. I feel hesitant and unsure of committing to certain paths regarding my education. I have a feeling that a lot of college students can relate to this issue.
I am confused and questioning what I’ve always believed for the first time in my entire life. Situations and conversations have come up that have me questioning what I have always done or what I have thought the right thing to do was. I’ve ended up surprising myself multiple times and doing what I never thought I would do. I’ve learned new opinions that totally change the support of the opinions I had coming into college, especially about politics and social issues with the upcoming election. I also have seen scrutiny against my religion for the first time. That may be a good thing because it challenges me to learn new things about it and to learn how to back up why I believe that. I realize now how sheltered I was in high school to many problems, types of people, and ways of thinking. It is a lot to take in, but I am trying to take things in with an open mind and tough skin.
I know at least some of the people reading this can relate to how I have been feeling. On the bright side, I am lost with people just like me. I’m not sure of a lot of things. I haven’t completely figured out who I am yet or what my purpose is. I don’t know completely who my real friends are. I haven’t figured out how to be as successful as I possibly can be in college courses. I haven’t figured out what my niche in society will be when I leave my university. I have never been so lost in my entire life as I am right now. And that is okay because what person my age really knows all the answers to all of these questions for sure? So many things in my life have changed in less than a year, and the only thing I can rely on at this point is that things will continue to change, as they always do. I will continue to anchor myself and hang tight to what I know, learn as much as possible, and open myself up to as much of the world as I possibly can.
