So I’m going to borrow some bragging rights real quick.
I attend a pretty prestigious public university. One where I am incessantly surrounded by some of the most intelligent and driven individuals from around the country. Scratch that — from around the entire globe.
It seems that everyone here has it all figured out.
Except for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love LinkedIn. But when I’m browsing the pages of some of my fellow classmates… it’s just downright depressing. Why am I not as impressive as her? Why don’t I have an internship across the country or a full-time job lined up for me right after I graduate like he does? Why don’t I have my entire life together yet? She created her own clothing line at the age of 19, why didn’t I do that?
I always find myself trying to catch my breath thinking that I need to speed up the process of adulting just to add more titles to my resume to compete with my peers around me.
But… why?
I had to sit myself down and think about this for a second. We need to slow the eff down.
Obviously, attaining real-world experience and getting your hands dirty in the workforce is nothing but beneficial. However, why do we think that we need to race to get there?
I’m 20 years old. I can’t even legally drink a margarita yet, so why do I think I need to become a successful self-made business owner right off the bat?
If you’re in the same boat as me, keep listening and stop comparing.
There is no “race” in life. However, we have developed this timeline in our minds that we religiously hold ourselves to. Graduate high school at 18. Go to college. Get a huge internship while you’re in college. Set up a job before you graduate. Graduate on time. Work. Get married before 28. Have kids before you turn 35. Retire in the hopes that you’ve been successful enough to create a solid 401k. Die with lots of money to give to your grandkids in order to give them the same education that you had. Repeat the cycle.
We are so focused on living a successful, financially stable life that we forget to slow down and appreciate the process.
It is okay to not have it all figured out. In fact, that’s what makes life worth living.
We all know that success isn’t a straight line. I don’t need to tell you that because the iconic jagged upwards sloping line graph has been featured in multiple Ted Talks and on lecture slides for when professors are feeling a little extra inspired. Obviously, we know that life isn’t perfect.
So stop trying to make it be.
When you graduate high school, actually take the time to figure out what suits you. If you want to go to college, find one that will accommodate your needs. Not your parents' needs. Not your friends' needs. YOUR needs. If you choose to join the armed forces — all the power and respect to you. If you need to take a year off, then do it. It’s YOUR journey.
Once you get to college, don’t bank on having a major engraved in stone right away. I changed my major multiple times my junior year. Trust me, you will change as a person, and your preferences will change with you.
Realize that people come into college with different mindsets and different levels of experience. Some may be more involved than others. Some may be smarter than others. Some may have more money than others. However, just know that we are all in the same boat.
It may take you a little longer to find what you’re truly passionate about. If you find a job right away that suits what you’re looking for, then you’re a lucky one. If you don’t, it is OK. Experiment. Try new things. Take chances. But don’t worry about finding the perfect fit just yet. We may all be in the same boat, but it might take some of us longer to reach our destination.
Please just don’t settle.
As for the rest of your story — all of the weddings and kids and the over-priced birthday parties — those can wait until you feel ready. There’s no perfect timing for anything.
So no, you don’t need to create the most exemplary life right away. Stop comparing yourself to your peers. If we really want to be happy, we need to run at our own pace. Life isn’t a damn race, so stop trying to make it one.
