Heading off to college NSO is not the first time I've felt completely overwhelmed by school. When I was in second grade, I had a teacher that made me dread going to class. She probably didn't realize that telling me how slow I was, or tapping me on the head with a pencil while saying, "Think think think," was slowly driving me to the brink of insanity. As far as I was concerned, it was fight or flight. I chose flight.

After a particularly hard day, I raised my hand, asked to go to the bathroom, and slipped out the back door. As I started walking, two things became abundantly clear.

1. I did not know my way home.

Yes, I was wandering somewhat aimlessly in what I supposed was the general direction of my house.

2. Stranger danger.

Every stern warning my father had ever given me about potential kidnappers was echoing in my head. Every person I passed was a possible criminal, every white van was a looming threat.

And so, as my emotions subsided and my common sense kicked in, I found myself walking back towards school. By this point, my teacher and the administration had realized I was not in the bathroom. Panic mode, check. Calls to my parents, check. The staff was in hysterics, including my teacher. So, I talked to her. I told her everything that had been building up inside of me, we discussed what was going on, hugged it out and a decision to install security cameras by the doors was made.

Some of my friends told me it was very brave of me to decide to leave, to go out on my own. I disagree. Leaving was not brave, turning back was.

When I went to NSO, I again felt like a frightened little girl. My fight or flight kicked in, but I made a different choice this time around. I walked into my orientation with my head held high, and I will return again in August, with a smile on my face. I will be brave, and even when I'm overwhelmed, or feel like the only possible answer is to run home, I will think it through. I will turn back, I will face my fears, and in the end, it will be okay.