I adore my workplace, coworkers, and bosses, but sometimes I am baffled by the things patrons ask me.

1. Okay, this is good. It's not too busy today.

2. I'll have plenty of time to get some homework done.

3. Hello, twelve people who all need help at the exact same time.

4. I can do everything at once because I am the ultimate worker.

5. Everything is wrong, and I can do nothing right.

6. No, sir, I assure you the answer is still the same as it was thirty seconds ago.

7. I am going to continue to smile while this person divulges an exorbitant amount of personal information.

8. The phone. The phone is ringing. This is serious.

9. Oh, this person is just mumbling nonsense. Who could have possibly butt dialed here?

10. I am going to hang up now and hope they don't call back.

11. Ma'am, I beg of you please do not return all those books at the same time.

12. I will try to maintain constant eye contact so I don't read the titles of what you've been reading. That feels very personal.

13. I can literally only accept a student ID.

14. No, I cannot take your license.

15. Let me refer you to my supervisor.