I Am A Proud Feminist, But I Used To Be Ashamed About It

I Am A Proud Feminist, But I Used To Be Ashamed About It

How I learned the real meaning of being a feminist

fem·i·nist, feminist: noun

1. a person who supports feminism.

fem·i·nism, feminism: noun

1. the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Based on those definitions, I am a feminist. And I am not ashamed to be one. But if someone asked me if I was a feminist back when I was 15 or 16, I denied any relationship with the word.

Why?

Because to me, at that time, it meant being a "man-hater," a power-hungry activist, someone who was assertive or demanding. Someone who wanted to be better than men, or to make them seem obsolete. It's clear to see that at that time, I had no idea what it truly meant. I'm happy to say I know better now.

I am a feminist because my rights should be equal to men. I shouldn't have to work twice as hard to make less. I want to be a mother someday and I want my children to feel safe and proud of who they are in the world.

Because I was a college student who had been told that when I traveled abroad for a semester and got verbally and physically harassed, I should have just let it happen. And now, as a post-grad searching for a full-time job, I've been asked why I don't go into a field "more suited for me as a woman."

No one would dare say that to my male counterparts. But to me, as a woman? I've lost count of how many times it has happened to me. And a lot of times, I've let it slide. But not anymore.

I shouldn't have to walk in fear to my house every night when it is dark or feel compelled to call someone, anyone, on my phone just in case something happens. I have to clutch my keys in my pocket and remember the self-defense moves I learned on the Internet, just in case. I shouldn't have to worry if I'm being too loud or assertive in front of my male counterparts.

But more importantly, no one, regardless of gender identity, should have to worry about these things. This is what I am fighting for. I'm not fighting to be "better than men". I'm not fighting to have all of the power. I'm fighting for equal rights for everyone

I am a feminist. And while I used to be ashamed of the word, I am no longer so.

And if you have a problem with it, that's fine. I'd be more than happy to discuss those problems with you.

But please know that I am not planning on changing my ideas anytime soon. I am proud of who I am. And I hope one day all women can be proud of who they are too.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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5 Reasons Why I Probably Got Profiled At The Mall

Ever wondered why the shopkeepers watch you? Well here is why.

Don't you just love when stores become overprotective? Especially those who follow you around and are reluctant to help you because you look like you can't afford anything? This week while I was shopping, I was profiled by shopkeepers despite having the money they want. But I understand why they did, here are some reasons.

1. The large horns I have on top of my head

These horns were inherited from my mother and they have been worn by many goats and maybe some lizards here and there.

2. My third eye

No need to watch out for people who steal, I’m already watching them.

3. The snakes that extend from my scalp

Don’t worry they’re friendly, except Charles. He bites.

4. My scales

Scales

They sparkle when the light hits them and it sometimes blinds others, shopkeepers beware.

5. There’s a unicorn behind me at all times.

He follows my every move and he impales people on his bad days, he’s also very beautiful.

OK, I’m going to cut the nonsense.

It’s because I’m brown and I look like I don’t have money.

I have a baby face that supposedly says “Hey, I’m going to look and not buy anything because I’m actually fifteen, not the thriving adult I am.”

I’m not saying to shopkeepers, help me all the time or be a car salesman. But don’t act like I can’t see you eyeing me, or greeting the people behind me instead of me. Or stereotype my class by clothes, because my bag may look beat up and my clothes may be dusty.

But I’m not walking in the mall because I want to look at all the different demographics of people and basing their shopping preferences and class by how they look.

Like you are.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

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To The Ambiverts: I Appreciate You

Sometimes, it's weird conforming to a certain category

An ambivert can be described as someone who isn't necessarily an extrovert (someone who is seen as the life of the party and is chatting up people they've never talked to before) or an introvert (someone who could be described as the complete opposite of all of that), but they're somewhere in between.

I'd consider myself an ambivert, but those closest to me would probably consider me to be an extrovert. I genuinely love people, but I think I'm really shy and awkward. I just think there's an indescribable complexity to humans and how they're able to think, feel, and act all different ways, sometimes at the same time!

I grew up as an only child with my mom as my best friend, and that was my favorite, because it was like us against the world. It felt like I was able to have her all to myself, and I was able to spend all my time with her, from doing dress up stuff, to going to the park, to watching a movie with her. As time went on though, I "realized" she and I were in totally different age groups. She had to work and I had to keep going to grade school.

I was lucky enough to have made friends, but from the get go I always wished for a sister (I ended up getting two stepsisters which is cool). I really wanted someone who I could spend most of my time with, tell my deepest, darkest secrets to, and have braid my hair and give me advice on boys.

I think this really led me to wanting a sense of closeness with people. I almost crave human interaction, especially those in the vicinity of my age group, because I like the comfort of being able to relate to others. However, I've found myself not really enjoying conflict, an avid listener of others ideas in a conversation, and someone who is able to be observant of different situations.

Sometimes, it's weird thinking we all have to have a certain category we need to place ourselves in, like saying there are two kinds of people in this world. For me, feeling unsure of my place in the world and looking to people for guidance and direction is something I do often, especially since I'm in college and I'm trying to decide how to live my life after I graduate.

But, ambiverts unite! This goes out to the people who love to have many friends but would also rather stay in and binge that new Netflix show instead of constantly putting yourself out there at parties to meet new people, and to the people who love being the life of the party around their loved ones, but who also enjoy the comfort of themselves. I appreciate you :).

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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