Feminism is one of those words that means something to everyone, although its connotations are not always positive. From “meninists” on twitter who proudly proclaim their disapproval to Beyoncé, with her hit “Flawless” defining what feminism means for girls today, the concept has become widely divided. Meanwhile, Gender Studies departments in colleges are expanding, intersectionality is finally becoming the mainstream ideology, and people are beginning to question beauty standards on a revolutionary level. Still, sometimes there is a tendency to hold female celebrities to higher standards than their male counterparts, especially when it pertains to their stance on feminism. While no one is asking Robin Thicke to explain why he thinks breaching consent is okay, a lot of people are attacking Shailene Woodley for refusing to take up the feminist label.

There is a clear disconnect; we expect celebrities who are women to care about women’s issues, but most of the time we do not ask men what they think about feminism. The norm in pop music is for men to sing about wanting women, seducing women, etc., and their corresponding music videos are loaded with images of submissive, bare women without voices, treated like commodities in the quest to achieve ultimate masculinity. These men are not directly attacked for perpetuating these images and ideas because that is what our culture has accepted as being normal. The reality is, we need to question these images, we need to ask men the right questions, and we need to stop acting like women who are not educated about feminism deserve to be shunned for misunderstanding the definition of the word.

New York Times writer Marisa Meltzer wrote an article titled “Who is a Feminist Now?” where she listed women who answered “yes” or “no” to being questioned on their stance on feminism. Meltzer’s framework for the article led to pinning women against each other. By turning the feminist movement into a single question that is only asked of women, we as a culture are turning the feminist movement into a trivial competition where the definition of the word matters less than who is “wearing” the label. Feminism is not a makeup brand made for women to decide if they want to wear or not. Feminism is a movement of liberation, and we feminists want all women to be treated as equals. To do that, we need to inform and educate, not sneer at those who misunderstand the definition of the word.