There is a cold hard truth men need to realize, and it is that the problems feminists are trying to solve are problems for men more so than for women. The way women see their bodies, how they evaluate their worth in the job market, the societal conformities placed upon them to be dainty, kind, proper, and good at the home, are all related to men needing to shape up and stop being the primary antagonists in this struggle.
Now, of course, there are people who will argue with that premise; that a woman should be responsible for her own self-esteem and sense of worth. A woman shouldn’t let others dictate how she should dress, act, behave, and decide what to do as a profession in society. A woman is responsible for how she attracts the unwanted attention of lecherous men. It’s so simple; the woman is the one who needs to face them and deal with it on her own. Feminism refers to the advocacy of women’s rights, so it must logically be a female issue.
Oh, how woefully misguided those fallacies are. While it is certainly true that a woman has the responsibility of determining her identity and her self-worth, she does not deserve the blame for a patriarchal, misogynistic, and objectifying society that forever deems her subhuman.
She does not deserve the blame for a society that bombards her with airbrushed ads and images of the swimsuit issue of "Sports Illustrated." She does not deserve an economic environment that, without regulation, would pay her seventy-seven cents for every dollar a man makes for the same work. She does not deserve the blame when she is raped, whether she’s wearing a sheer dress or not.
She does not deserve the proverbial box she’s put into by being told to be a dutiful housewife, a stay-at-home mom, a laundry-doer and floor cleaner or any other “role for women.” The ones to blame are men, or a certain group of men, who are too lazy to get off their bums and go make their own darn sandwiches.
This is not to say all men are misogynistic, chauvinist pigs. Most men, myself included, do see women as equals and believe that they deserve equal pay, job opportunities, and sports options. However, a myriad of gender disparities have pervaded society to a point where we are conformed into a belief that the system is fine. We’re left to believe there are not issues while they so blatantly exist when we pull the wool back from our eyes.
But how is this a male issue? Men are taught to be assertive and dominating. When we are young, we’re taught that we do things differently than girls. We cannot cry, we cannot show weakness, be sensitive, participate in effeminate activities such as dance or theater, and must always let females do their "girl stuff." We’re taught to be men and let women be women.
Why don’t we teach boys while they’re young to respect a woman’s body? Why don’t we teach boys to do what they are passionate about instead of being overly masculine men who are tough, dominating and emotionless machines? Why is a promiscuous man congratulated for being sexually active, whereas a woman would be declared a harlot? Why do we tell a woman it’s her fault for being raped due to her clothing or promiscuous behavior, when it is the man who assaulted her because he was a piece of scum?
It’s a problem that stems from a figuratively infinite amount of smaller sins of society. In order to fix these gaps between the genders, we have to realize that it’s an issue on both sides. The issues faced by feminism, however, need the strongest advocacy from men, because it is the patriarchal society we’ve been conformed to which needs to be dismantled. Feminism should not be viewed as making women more powerful than men, but rather promoting equality where women have so often been given the short end of the stick.
Men have their share of stereotypes and fitted roles to overcome, but they’re overshadowed by the struggles women face in their lives with families, friend groups, the workplace, and pretty much everywhere else in life. In order for feminism to be successful, it must be understood as the struggle for what it is. It is not a dismantling of the patriarchy in the sense that women must overtake men, but rather to argue that the sexes are equal and should be allowed to be equal on a myriad of affairs.
I implore you to understand that we are all humans who should be regarded as equal. Man is a label just as the word woman is, so while there are obviously irrefutable differences between the genders, they should both be able to do what they desire in a society which should not designate them to fitted roles where they cannot deviate whatsoever. Social conformities are deeply entrenched into our minds, but by being open minded, we can erode those boxes we have placed upon ourselves.
