Feminism And Toxic Competition Between Girls
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Feminism And Toxic Competition Between Girls

"I'm not like other girls" mentality is pitting girls against each other.

Feminism And Toxic Competition Between Girls

In the past couple of years I've been amazed at the amount of social change that has been going on in America, as well as throughout the world. One of the most outstanding movements, of course, has been the feminist movement. As a feminist, I am proud to be a part of a community that aims to support women of all races, nationalities, and creeds. But, sometimes movements fall short. I've been saddened by how many girls who claim to want equal rights for women also claim that they are "not like other girls". What does that mean?? It's a statement that has often puzzled me, because no two girls are alike, and it's ridiculous for someone to generalize half of the world's population! Oftentimes when I've heard this phrase it has left a bad taste in my mouth, because having this sort of us-against-them mentality is toxic internalized misogyny at its worst, and it needs to stop.

What makes phrases like "I'm not like other girls" so bad? For starters, it perpetuates the idea that in order to be accepted by others you have to ascribe to a certain image that is deemed as "acceptable". This is portrayed especially well in movies and television. Picture this: The protagonist is unlucky in love and can never find the right woman. Every woman that he meets cannot live up to his standards and are all too bland or uninteresting for him. As if by magic, the "girl of his dreams" appears. She reads books, plays pool, and even likes video games, everything that the protagonist loves to do. She is basically "one of the guys." She doesn't care about shopping, makeup, or fashion. In fact, she's only friends with other guys! Why is this so wrong? It idealizes what a woman should be in order to get the attention of men. In addition, it alienates other women that cannot fit into that narrow box and pits them against other women, creating unnecessary competition. If being "like other girls" means being traditionally "feminine", then what is so wrong with that? It's almost as if being "like a girl" is undesirable, and that, my friends, is the root of the issue.

What is so upsetting is that sexism has been so deeply embedded into our culture that even some girls view masculinity as superior to being feminine. Being "like a girl" is portrayed as being weak, cowardly, or soft, all seemingly negative traits. Some girls will even try to distance themselves from other members of their own gender in order to ensure that they are more "unique" or "special" than the rest. In short, it all rests on stereotypes and preconceived notions about what a woman should be, and we need to smash the idea that you have to be a "special snowflake" in order to be valued by society.

So now that we've gotten to the crux of the issue, what's the next step? All I can say is that we need to just start supporting girls. No matter who they are or what they do, all girls are equal and all deserve respect. One girl isn't better than another because of how they dress or act, so we need to take that into consideration. Yes, it may seem obvious, but it's a conscious decision that we all have to make every day. In addition, we need to learn to STOP making everything a competition, and instead start lifting each other up, no matter who we are. Is she a homemaker? Awesome! A professional worker? Great! Does she wear makeup? Divine! Does she prefer to go natural? Wonderful! Whatever she does, she no more or less of a woman than anyone else. If we as women to work together to build each other up, I bet we can bring more positivity not only to ourselves but to society at large, because individually we are strong, but together we are unstoppable.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.


Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments