I Fell In Love With The Wrong Boy

I Fell In Love With The Wrong Boy

When your love life is a one-way street.
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I fell in love with the wrong boy. The boy I couldn't, no, shouldn't want. The one who I felt was my everything, my soulmate. Just the thought of him made me so warm and happy, but it was wrong. I couldn't have him.

I couldn't wake up next to him smelling him. The smell of patchouli, sweat, and gardenias. The smell of hard work, taut muscles, and thick hairy legs. I couldn't have that oh so perfect smile you put on when I sent you that ludicrous video. When he uses all 43 muscles to smile I think I fall in love over and over again. I couldn't have any of it. I could only admire it.

I could only admire that gorgeous look he had in his eyes that night. The night we decided to watch movies and I lay in your lap taking in every sensation I possibly could from that small portion of your thigh. I could only admire the way he says my name - like music.

Oh, do I melt every time he says my name. I could only admire every aspect of his beautiful aura... from a distance. But that distance just grew until I felt like I was viewing you through a looking glass.

A looking glass that distorted all that was around me focusing only on you. A looking glass that I fell in love through. That same looking glass where I lost it. I forgot I saw you through a looking glass, where everything is reversed.

"I tried to make a home out of you, but doors lead to trap doors, a stairway leads to nothing."

So I broke. Slowly but surely I broke down. Weathered by your every movement as I realized my love was a lost cause. You broke my heart. You broke my heart the same way you fall asleep, unbeknownst to you and with every good intention. But, you're the magician. Put me back together again the way you cut me in half.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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I Can Hate The Player And I Can Hate The Game

Watch the game you play ...

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I have ONE simple question...Why!?!?

Why drag me along for the ride, if you knew this was going to be the way it was going to end? Are satisfied with the end result? Were you at least able to get something out of this? You act and put out the vibe of a sweet talker, the guy with a charming smiling,silly me for thinking a sweet guy would stay.

I mean you were constantly telling me how you were scared to loose me and that you weren't going anywhere, actually thought i could trust that when my *boyfriend* told me that, but no now i sit here wondering what could i have done to keep him? Did I actually make him happy or was it something that I did? When in all honesty it wasn't me... It was his own selfish prerogative, he knew he wasn't happy and carried on as if everything was ok. Leaving me to believe everything was perfectly fine... When sadly I was wrong.

I mean its 2018, Relationships don't really seem to have a true meaning, I really shouldn't have expected much but I mean, a girl can dream cant she? There is something to be said about being honest with yourself and with your significant other. If you get the feeling something is off, or you plan and simple, just are not feeling it OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY SOMETHING! Don't just sit there and let it go on, for someones feelings to get stronger for you and for you to just leave them there having to ask themselves where did this come from? and how could they not have seen this coming?

Just so you know for the future, and to save another girl from a heartbreak don't just be honest with yourself but be honest with her too, trust me the earlier you realize your feelings the better.

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