I fell in love with the wrong boy. The boy I couldn't, no, shouldn't want. The one who I felt was my everything, my soulmate. Just the thought of him made me so warm and happy, but it was wrong. I couldn't have him.

I couldn't wake up next to him smelling him. The smell of patchouli, sweat, and gardenias. The smell of hard work, taut muscles, and thick hairy legs. I couldn't have that oh so perfect smile you put on when I sent you that ludicrous video. When he uses all 43 muscles to smile I think I fall in love over and over again. I couldn't have any of it. I could only admire it.

I could only admire that gorgeous look he had in his eyes that night. The night we decided to watch movies and I lay in your lap taking in every sensation I possibly could from that small portion of your thigh. I could only admire the way he says my name - like music.

Oh, do I melt every time he says my name. I could only admire every aspect of his beautiful aura... from a distance. But that distance just grew until I felt like I was viewing you through a looking glass.

A looking glass that distorted all that was around me focusing only on you. A looking glass that I fell in love through. That same looking glass where I lost it. I forgot I saw you through a looking glass, where everything is reversed.

"I tried to make a home out of you, but doors lead to trap doors, a stairway leads to nothing."

So I broke. Slowly but surely I broke down. Weathered by your every movement as I realized my love was a lost cause. You broke my heart. You broke my heart the same way you fall asleep, unbeknownst to you and with every good intention. But, you're the magician. Put me back together again the way you cut me in half.