I’ve been single again for two years now, and in this time span I’ve gotten to witness almost all of my friends get into pretty serious relationships (if they weren’t already in one beforehand). While I am so happy that they’ve found people who are so good for them, I can’t help but to feel out of place. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t mind being single. I like being able to do my own thing without having to worry about how it will impact the other person, but sometimes it’s hard being single when everyone you know is settling down.
Making plans is hard. What starts as a girls' night out turns into a couples' night out, which then turns into “Oh Lex, let’s try and set you up with that guy across the room,” only to find out he is also in a relationship. So then, what was supposed to be a fun night with my girl friends turns into me standing alone in the corner as they all hang out with their boyfriends. I really don’t mind that you want to hang out with your significant other, but why does it have to be during our girls' night?
And when I finally do get alone time with my girl friends, we end up talking solely about their boyfriends. I don’t mind the occasional mention, but when I feel like I can’t even talk about things that are going on in my life, I feel like you’d rather be hanging out with him.
As for holidays, Halloween is my favorite, but not when I’m the only single friend. I can think of thousands of group costumes to do, but it’s kind of hard to do any of them when everyone already has a couple’s costume planned. No big deal guys, I’ll just go as a banana. It’s fine, really. I don’t need another person for that one.
I mean, I really do appreciate when my friends ask me to hang out with them and their S.O., but they don’t seem to understand that it’s awkward to be the third wheel. They end up talking to each other, and I end up scrolling through my Twitter feed for three hours. It’s especially awkward to be the fifth wheel because there’s more people ignoring your presence--and if you’re out to eat, the waiter will ask if you’re waiting on your date. Like no, sorry. Just me.
One final thing, please stop making jokes that I’m going to be forever alone. I don’t think they’re funny, and they aren’t fun to hear. Sometimes I might make them about myself, but it’s as a joke, and it’s not very reassuring when you agree.
To everyone out there in relationships, please be considerate of your single friends’ feelings. They might not want to hang out with your significant other all the time like you do. Sometimes I just need my friends, but I feel like they’re not always there 100%. I’m so glad you found someone who makes you happy, but please don’t forget about us single folk in the process.
