If you are above the age of 16, chances are you have or known someone who has had their wisdom teeth removed. There are a lucky few out there whose wisdom teeth come in perfectly straight and do not have to be extracted--but for the rest of us, here are the six feelings that typically come along with the arduous process of getting your wisdom teeth removed.
Confusion
You wake up from your medically induced slumber to find a strange throbbing coming from your cheeks. There is gauze stuffed in your mouth and you have no idea where you are. You look at your phone only to find a collection of repulsive selfies that have been sent to friends along with a combination of letters that look more like a puzzle than a sentence. After you finally remember that you have just gotten your wisdom teeth removed--and not been hit in the jaw with a baseball bat, the realization kicks in--you are in pain. Lots and lots of pain.
Pain
You feel like a circus performer who has just stuffed multiple golf balls in the sides of their cheeks. The throbbing in your jaw is comparable to a metronome used to keep pace with a world class orchestra. Blood is oozing from the back of your mouth and you can barely move your fragile jaw enough to rinse it out. You truly believe that you will never return to normal. Life will never be the same. You cloud your mind just thinking about all of the obstacles you are going to have to face with a permanent immobile jaw.
After wiping your mouth dry and changing gauze for the third time today, you start to believe that your situation is not actually thaaaat bad, and who knows? Maybe…this could be a good thing. Just thinking about all of the cake batter ice cream you are going to eat makes you feel warm inside, along with the fact that you can lay in bed for the entirety of your day and not feel guilty about it. You begin sorting out which movies you are going to watch on Netflix, and you have successfully convinced yourself that you are living the life. No worries, no obligations, just a sore mouth.
Boredom
After hours of binge watching The Office you find yourself roaming the hallways of your house in search of something to do. You browse through an array of Snapchat stories and begin to miss your dear friends. You begin to convince yourself that you are 100% healed and can definitely go out and join your friends. Once you take a look in the mirror you are reminded that leaving your house would require a shower; coincidently your jaw begins to hurt again.
Hunger
YOU ARE HUNGRY. You are sick of eating ice cream, and mashed potatoes are a sorry excuse for a meal. Pizza Hut commercials have never looked so good. You would give anything if it meant you could have some chicken fingers right now. It physically hurts you to sit at the dinner table while your family enjoys nice, juicy burgers fresh off the grill, and you are stuck eating mashed potatoes from Popeye’s drive through. You try to mix it up and attempt to eat a biscuit, but that quickly fails and you end up cloaked in failure and buttery crumbs.
Sleepiness
As you are finishing up your pathetic imitation of a meal you find yourself slowly dozing off. You actually have no idea how you are so tired because all you’ve done is watch Netflix for eight hours straight. You begin to calculate exactly how many hours of sleep you will get if you can successfully sleep through the night. You go to sleep dreaming of french fries and reminding yourself that once you wake up you will be another day closer to freedom.
Wake up and repeat for the next 2-4 days…
