Let me set the scene. I am lying on my bed and my mom’s minivan is already packed with most of my boxes. Most of my goodbyes have been made and I am waiting to wake up tomorrow, place the last of my stuff in the minivan, and move into my new home at Susquehanna University. I am excited yet nervous, filled with bittersweet feelings of hope but also sadness for the people and things I will miss.
So, for those of you counting down the days until you leave your hometown and start a new chapter, here are my last thoughts before I leave.
It’s completely surreal and unreal. I can’t believe that tomorrow night I will be sleeping in a totally different bed. And by the time you are reading this, my awesome reader, I may even be used to the new room. I feel like yesterday I pressed send on my Common App applications and now I am here, packed up and ready to go.
My stomach churns with a terrifying mix of excitement, hope, and fear. I am so excited for all the new opportunities and doors I have ahead of me, but I am scared I will lose my key. I worry I am not ready, but I know I am. I try to remind myself of the fact that I am ready with my accomplishments and years of learning and my (small) collection of knowledge of being responsible and able to take care of myself.
More disbelief comes up in my mind because I still cannot believe the day is here.
Pride but also regret. As much as I want to live my life with no regrets, there are things I do regret, but with no mistakes, you could never learn. I am proud of what I learned, and I am proud of many things I did from writing a 30-page business paper to having an awesome job at RE/MAX for two years.
I also worry that I may have forgotten to pack something. Or that I packed too much. Or that I packed the right amount of stuff but not the right stuff. I worry that I will forget something important tomorrow as I walk out the door. I just worry about everything that could possibly go wrong, even though none of it will.
I will miss my parents and brother and friends and the goodbyes were hard. And what is worse is the goodbyes there was no time for, or that conflicting schedules kept from happening. The fear is there, that one missed goodbye will lead to someone forgetting about me forever.
But lastly, there’s the joy and excitement that make all the feelings worth it. There is pure happy excitement there, not just the mix of nerves and excitement, but really happy, dreams coming true, excitement. Love for my school fills me up as I cannot wait to begin this chapter at this place I so happily chose as my next home.
