Since I was old enough to watch "Legally Blonde," I have planned to go to college and become just like Elle Woods. However, I never intended to join the sorority Delta Nu was mimicking, but I ended up doing that. I also ended up going to the farthest college away from home that I could, and that has turned into a disaster. I guess I also met my Warner, Elle's ex-boyfriend, and he left just like in the movies (Minus the whole needing a more serious girl, I was too serious)
I had always planned for college to be where I make memories and find myself. In high school, I focused on school work so much that I became a robot. So far, I have made a lot of memories, some are good, but a lot are bad. I am not a pessimist, but these experiences have made me realize that I have been too idealistic when I planned for college. I do not want to give up and drop my first semester, but is my mental health less important?
I may not be sure about what my purpose in life is, or know what I am going to do with my degree, but that is OK. It is very common for first-year students to lose focus because of the many obstacles they face, such as distance and class curriculum. Sometimes things will not go your way, but the added baggage will just make you stronger. However, once it makes you weak and overwhelmed, ask others for help or just let them in.
The best thing you can do when you are overwhelmed is to seek help because isolating yourself will create more issues. I know asking for help can make you feel pathetic, but in everyone else's eyes, you are incredibly strong. Take a breath and focus on the daily goals you need to complete and keep yourself busy when you do not have any work. Sometimes you need to fake it until you make it. Do not give up on yourself by working on your mental health.
Maturing and fighting for your dreams, instead of dwelling on the things you cannot change is the better option because the latter when negatively affect your mental health. It will cause much more pain for yourself if you miss out on accomplishing your goals and making memories. It will cause much more pain because there is a mechanism in everyone's brain that forces them to focus on their missed opportunities over the decisions they made in the past.
Change is a good thing. Not knowing what you want to do with your life is OK. You are too young to understand what you want to do with your life. However, you need to make sure you are doing something because if you just lie around and give up, you will become a shell of yourself.
Take a breath, you have this. You are in control of your future, and you can do whatever satisfies your wants and needs. You will love again. You will find yourself. You will figure everything out. It all takes time so do not rush it because you will ruin it for yourself. Do not give up.