During Homecoming week in middle school we would always have a college day. You were supposed to wear a shirt or some sort of spirit wear from your favorite college. Everyone of course wore shirts that were 3x too big because they were their parents' but the idea was to get us thinking about post--secondary education. I didn't have a college shirt. This was the first time I ever thought about college as a real event that would happen to me and truthfully it scared me.
College is suppose to be the best four years of your life but I truly hope that isn't the case. Maybe it is the instagram pictures or maybe it is the overhyped portrayal in the media but regardless, I don't think college is allowing me to truly join in.
The other night, my friend and I sat in her basement and ordered some pizza. As we talked and pretended to study we got on the topic of feeling left out. In college it seems like everyone is constantly smiling, constantly partying, and constantly having the time of their life. Perhaps I just take college too seriously or maybe I just missed the fun boat but I truly feel like I have missed out on the full college experience.
The appeal of partying was lost on me when I first had to take care of a hallmate who had partied just a little too hard. The appeal of drinking has never really won me over. And truthfully I spend a lot of my nights alone in my room watching netflix or reading. While I absolutely have no disdain whatsoever for people who go out every night that just isn't the life for me. But, unfortunately this has left me to feel like I am totally missing out on the experiences colleges have to offer. Sure I have given a trade to socialization a time or two with a binge marathon of Parks and Recreation on Netflix but at the same time I am halfway into my fifth semester and I have yet to have that moment where I think this could be the best four years of my life.
I was lucky. I had an incredible high school experience that I do wish I could relive at times. Maybe I traded in a memorable college experience for a phenomenal High School career. Perhaps I traded in my college fun card when I picked studying over partying numerous nights in a row. I possibly hyped the whole thing up way too much in my head. Or maybe I just am not trying hard enough. Whatever the reason, I have major doubts about all these fairytale promises.
I live on a beautiful campus. I go to a fantastic school that is constantly rated in the top 10 for best college experiences and yet I still feel like I am just floating through my college experience. Waiting and waiting and waiting until the next great thing arrives. Don't get me wrong, I have incredible friends and some really amazing things have happened to me in these 5 semesters. But at the end of the day, when I am watching yet another episode of Gilmore Girls, I often wonder if this is all that is left. There has to be more to college than partying and drinking. I must have missed something. Maybe it was in orientation and I just didn't pick that seminar.
