I Feel Like A Wanderer
Start writing a post
Student Life

I Feel Like A Wanderer

Wandering through life asking what if.....

I Feel Like A Wanderer

I feel like a wanderer... and no, I don't mean like an alien. I have felt like this for years. My life aimlessly flows and it feels like there is no meaning to my life. I feel like I was put on this earth to wander. I was put here to teach other people lessons, bless their lives with my knowledge, and aimlessly flow. So many of you will not understand where I am coming from. These past few years have been a tremendous struggle trying to find my purpose in life. I took a gap year of school, I stayed in a state for a guy, and I have yet to finish a full two years of college. While all my other friends seem to have it all figured out, I am still wandering. I have so many talents, and so many dreams I wish to achieve, but can I honestly achieve them all? I would love to be a famous singer, I would love to go on a mission trip around the world, I love writing novels, I love dancing, I love Disney world, I love children, and I also love the idea of a family of my own some day. Can someone please come and shove all of that together and give me a purpose here? There is just an overwhelming amount of paths I can see myself taking and I think the idea of making a mistake scares me. For years I have felt like this, but times like these where I stare at a computer screen and openly cry out for help that I am lost, is where it gets to me.

Being a wanderer in my definition on this earth can also be quite lonely. Now, I am not saying I am depressed and need a psychologist. All I am saying is that when you feel like a wanderer you also feel like no one gets you. I have three incredible best friends that all live 400 miles away from me that have stuck with me throughout the good times and the bad, but everyone else I've met, I just feel like they don't get me. Sometimes, I don't even get myself. I am filled with so much joy and love for others but for some reason I feel as though no one can actually love me, well, intimately. This is truly the hardest part of it, I don't know who I am, or love myself enough for someone else to see the beauty inside of me to love me. I know I am young and have my entire life ahead of me, but you cant blame me for feeling this way if I've felt this way my entire life. I can only hope that I somehow find my purpose and someday someone finds me.

As the years have gone by, I have realized how being a wanderer has made such an amazing impact on the people who's lives I have touched. When I was little, my grandfather died and the night of his death I remember still till this day seeing an angel in my mothers bathroom as I slept with her that night. It was so scary to me as a child, yet so real that I remember every second of it. That, makes me want to believe that I am special and I have a gift. Throughout my life I have also been given very vivid dreams of what the end days are going to look like. I have an extremely strong faith, and that only makes me feel like what if being a wanderer is being an angel walking on earth sent from Heaven. When I was little a woman used to watch me after school who was our neighbor and I remember her being so depressed after her husband died, and she told me that, me coming into her life was one of the best things that has ever happened to her. As I got older, I began teaching kids my age the Bible in the neighborhood, throughout my middle school years I was the advice giver and shoulder to cry on for all of my friends. I was the partner for the girl who did not get picked, and I was the mothers helper for a single mom struggling after the death of her husband. In high school, I was someones first love in which he told me, I was the best thing that had ever happened to his life. Those were the same words the elderly lady told me next door when I was nine.

So here's my question, where is my wanderer? There's a funny saying that says, "the psychologist needs a psychologist." I have been everyone else's rock, where is mine? What am I supposed to do with my life? I have asked God for the answers but I feel as though he wants me to answer them myself. If there is anyone else out there that feels similar to how I feel, speak out. Keeping this inside for so many years has been so hard. When I've tried to explain it to friends and family they have thought I was nuts. Do you? I encourage everyone regardless of how they feel to express their feelings whether it may be through writing, singing, or speaking. Whatever the case may be, do it, because it feels amazing to finally be able to openly say, that I feel like a wanderer and I need some answers.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Holidays With A Small Family

I wouldn't trade what we have for the world.

Matt Johnsn

When I was a kid I always went to my grandparents house whenever we celebrated any sort of holiday. We were a decently sized family and it was always a blessing to be in their house and surrounded by love during the holiday season. However, that all changed when my grandfather passed away and my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The family then began to drift apart and life went on, and we ended up all celebrating our own holidays with other family members.

Keep Reading... Show less

Safe Spaces Or Regressive Spaces?

Turns out shielding yourself from ideas can be detrimental to your ability to learn


College is a place for people who want to learn. That is the primary function of any academic institution. Its purpose is not to coddle us, nor should the community always be in agreement with us. We are supposed to surround ourselves with a variety of viewpoints that challenge us to learn, not the same repetitive points of view that make us happy.

Keep Reading... Show less

Black Friday is back to being Black Friday

This year, malls are standing up against Black Friday beginning on Thanksgiving. Doors won't be opening until Friday morning.


Last week my twitter feed was full of exclamations of how excited people were that our local mall, Westmoreland Mall would be closed on Thanksgiving Day this year. For those who work during the busy holiday days and hours, a celebration was in order. For the die-hard deal finders and shoppers though, they didn’t seem very happy.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Is Thrift Shopping *Actually* Ethical?

There's been a recent boom in the popularity of vintage style looks and up-cycling thrifted finds to sell at, usually, an outrageous price. Is this ethical? Or does it defeat the whole purpose of thrifting in the first place?

Is Thrift Shopping *Actually* Ethical?

One day, I was scrolling through Twitter and came across a tweet about upper-middle-class class people thrift shopping. I personally was against the up cycling/re-selling trend because I thought it to be greedy. Then, I began to see more and more tweets, and then stated to see ones about those who buy thrifted, name brand items and sell them for what they're actually worth instead of the very low price they got them for.

Keep Reading... Show less

Holidays With the Family?

Should retail outlets close on holidays so their employees can be with their families?


For the past few years, having stores open on Thanksgiving has become a popular trend. The sales have started earlier on the day known as Gray Thursday. Now, the Mall of America has taken a bold stand and is closing its doors on Thanksgiving. They are very excited in giving the day back to their workers so they can spend time with their family.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments