Is being completely fearless a possibility in life? Can someone live without worry? I don't think there is anyone out there who hasn't experienced some type of fear, worry, anxiety or guilt, but there are definitely people who are better at managing their fears than others. For those of us who struggle with fear in life, here is a little bit of advice for you.
Living your life based on fear is the worst thing you could do for yourself.
In Dr. Tim Ong's article about living a fear-driven life, he explains how there are different faces of fear. Dr. Ong says "Fear... can be directed inwardly towards ourselves or outward towards others." For instance, you direct anger and hatred outwardly at someone else while you direct guilt and shame inwardly at yourself.
In life, there are so many different things we can worry about. It is almost like the world presents us with a buffet table full of fearful options, and we just keep filling up our plates until we are so full of fear that we can't even function anymore. There is fear of loss, illness, success, and the list goes on and on. All of these are different types of fear that we give power to control our lives.
For me, I have the fear of the future. I always wonder where the course of my life is going to take me and where I end up. But I have eventually realized that the only person who is in control of what my future will be like is myself. Only I can make decisions and act in a way that will impact my future. No one else.
When we take a trip to the fear buffet, we are harming ourselves in more ways than you could imagine. When we are fearful, we hold back from the things we want to do. We tend to ask ourselves, "What if something happens while I'm gone?" or "What if this doesn't work out the way I want it to?" Then, we decide to not do the things we want in fear that there will be consequences for our actions.
However, the real consequence is that we are missing out on doing the things we want because we hold ourselves back too much to alleviate our fears.
But is holding back actually helping us? I don't think so. I believe that by holding back and giving in to our fears, we are allowing them to grow stronger and have more control over our lives.
As Dr. Ong says, "Each time we allow our fear to manifest itself, we validate its 'usefulness' and perpetuate its tendency in our lives. As its grips on our lives become stronger, so is its power over us. As fear grows, love recedes for fear and love cannot co-exist together. They are mutually exclusive."
So how can we control our fears to be able to live our lives the way we desire to? For me, the first step is to simply let go.
We have to realize that there are some things in life we can't change. For example, no matter what, people will exit our lives due to death, and we can't change that, so don't let your fear of losing someone destroys your ability to live.
Another way is to be aware that even our concerns are controlling us. We have to acknowledge that there is a part of our lives that is diminishing our ability to experience and enjoy. Once we understand that our fears are getting in the way of our path to freedom, we can take the proper steps to alleviate it.Fear is a burden to the lives of everyone, but there are ways we can control it instead of allowing it to control us. Once we master the concept of doing what we please without listening to our fears, we will be able to live our lives the way we have always desired. Also, you will realize what a significant weight is released off of your shoulders as you experience all that you want.Shutting down your fear will lead you to the process of self-liberation.