When I was younger, I used to let fear rule my life. I needed a way to express the fear I was feeling and what is written below is what it felt like for me. I have learned now not to let fear rule my life, but it is still interesting to read what I wrote many years ago. Please enjoy the dramatic representation of something that no longer has control over my life. Good luck and remember that it always gets better!
-Blake Sterling
The stars shine bright, but the fears shine brighter. What happens when they consume you? Will you live your life from the confinements of your hated barriers, your hated actions, or will they fully drive you to end everything, right where you stand? Does the past make a difference in today, or does the future scare you to white hair and clinched teeth? You are trapped in a barrier of your own thoughts, with walls of blackness oozing of hatred and failure. The ceiling tiles melt with the tears you carry, drowning you in sorrow. The floor turns to snake ridden quicksand that resembles the way you feel. All these walls but no doors, not a window to be seen. And where do you escape, for there must be a way out? You don’t dare to go to the corner to cry for in each corner is a similar blood red mass the beacons you into pain and misery, and you dare not step foot past the maze of hatred created by none other than yourself.
But through all of this, there is a light. There is a hope that turns the walls grayer and sprawls letters across it. These letters begin to form words, but you don’t know what they mean. You refuse to acknowledge them. As these letters get bigger you begin to make words out of the jumbled mess, and you see three words. They stick there before they erupt into flames. They shine bright in the darkness you see and feel. And as they finally disappear, you make sense of what they said. They all make sense. You are pulled out of your confinements by an unknown force to see her. Her smiling face greets you as your eyes open to the world. Her happiness makes you smile as she says “Mommy, I love you.” You sit there for a second. You are in a daze…. you put the needle down… you pick her up…. “I love you mommy, please don’t leave me.” You begin to cry and hold her tight….. and the next thing you see is the phone before you lose your vision…. “Goodnight mommy.” It’s the last thing you hear…..
