I am currently sitting under the pavilion at Bonclarken Lake. It is raining and the sound of thunder echoes across the sky. The presence of the Lord at this very moment is breathtaking. As I sit down to write, I have no beginning and no end. I’m looking up at the rain and beginning to think about the beauty of my God.
I just thought to myself, what if I could hit a pause button and stop time on this rainy day. Well, I know someone who can. He knows every single drop in the entire universe. He knows because he placed every drop of water right where he wanted it. Just as He knows every grain of sand on every beach in the entire universe. My God is all knowing and that is humbling and beautiful in my eyes. If my God knows grains of sand and drops of water, then what is fear in his eyes? How can I be fearful of something, when I have a fearless God? These are questions that I have been asking myself for a few weeks now. I came into this summer knowing what some of my fears where. I had no idea that I would develop more along the way. This is extremely irrational, but I am afraid of heights. Kinda crazy, since ya know, I am spending my whole summer high above the ground. Every day as I am getting over this irrational fear, I ask myself the question, how can I be fearful, when I have a fearless God? The amount of joy I feel, knowing that God is in control and that I’m not going anywhere, unless he wants me too, is amazing!! Another thing that I have been struggling with is loneliness. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am 100% an extrovert and being alone is a very scary thing for me. I am learning that loneliness is a real thing and that I can get through it! I recently read a tweet by a friend of mine;
“A season of feeling out of place or lonely doesn’t mean that there is no place for us, it is a reminder that of our GREATEST place: we belong always in the presence of Almighty God.” -McKenna Hickman.
I read this and thought, yes Lord. I want to spend every waking moment in your presence and why am I afraid of being lonely, when I have a fearless God who is with me always?! God you are my greatest place to be, your presence is where my heart needs to reside this summer. I need to stop trying to force friendships and relationships and tell myself, that I will be okay lonely. I am only two weeks into this crazy beautiful summer and I am thankful for the lessons God has taught me already. I am also super excited to see what more God has in store for me, this summer!! Thanks you to all who keep up with my blogs & I pray that the Holy Spirit uses this in a mighty way!
-Ben
