We were young and dumb. Like most teenagers do, we made mistakes that led to our falling out. One of the hardest things was letting go of our friendship. I remember telling one of my friends, “I would rather be single than not have him as a friend.” I still stand by this. Yes, I cared about you. And yes, I would have done anything for you. But here I am, going to college, wondering what it’d be like if we were still close. I have so many things I want to tell you, so here it goes.
Look how far you've come! You have matured and I couldn't be more proud. You have such big goals for yourself, and I know you will achieve them with ease. You have always been smart, and confident in your abilities to be yourself.
I miss you like crazy. I figure it goes without saying that I think of you often. Like when I look through old yearbooks, memories pop up. Then those memories lead to others. Like having Spanish class with you reminds me of the time I fell in the hallway and I can’t help but laugh. (Like why the heck would I dance around in flats when I know I'm accident prone?) You were apart of my life for three years, and your advice always made an impact on me. So on my low days, I think of your stupid laugh much too often.
The late night conversations still run through my head. The night we listened to music on skype while you played a game, or the night we just talked until 4 a.m., and every time in between. I wonder if you think of those times as well.
Sometimes I hope you do, for the only fact that I will still be a part of happy memories. Because when we fell apart, our times together went downhill. No One was happy, everyone involved got hurt, and eventually, we all hated one another. Looking back now I realize how much of a mess it all was. I wish we could have been smart enough to just talk things out. But we were not, and the situation snowballed too quickly to grasp.
You were a kind soul who kept me awake for a game and made me laugh when I didn't want too. You had always looked out for me, and I, for you, in return.
As I am writing this, I find myself blanking of each topic as it comes time to transition. We had so many memories that are overwhelming to think about, even after a year or so. You were my biggest heartache and my hardest goodbye. Even now, when I see you and we exchange hello’s, I find myself wondering what could have been.
We were young and far too immature to even attempt to grasp the reality of our situation. We thought we were going to be OK, and in all reality, it was never going to work. We are two very different people, with very different goals.
At the end of the day, we have both become two mature people, who can smile at one another. And while, for now, I still distract my brain from the heartache of losing what you meant to me, I still wish you nothing but the best in the future. I know you have come so far, and still have so far to go. You have the potential to grasp the stars, and I could not be more happy for you.
If you do still wonder about me, I am here to tell you that I am doing fine. College starts very soon, and I have my closest friends with me. And while I do wish that you were still apart of the group, I do understand.
I know how difficult that year had been, and how much pressure you felt by society. You did what was best for you and no one can hate you for that.
Yes, I miss you. And Yes, I would love to become friends again. But I have learned to look ahead, instead of looking backward. Because we can not turn back and change the things we do not like.
You continue to grow as a person and follow your dreams. Keep those friends that helped you through so much, and keep that smile on your face. You are so mentally strong and that will always be one of your best qualities.
As this message comes to a close, I realize how messy this all sounds, and believe me, I wish it was easy to explain. Alas, it is not. At the end of the day, we should continue to build ourselves up as individuals. If the time does come for our friendship to blossom once more, I shall welcome it with open arms.
But for now, goodbye my favorite stranger.
