Famous Last Words

Whether it be a new week, an assigned project, or a free moment or weekend, I always try and be incredibly productive. This rarely happens and I frequently find myself lying to myself about things I will or will not do. Anyone with a planner knows what I am talking about. You write out every page you need to read as well as every project you should begin researching. In reality, majority of pages will remain unread and you will be up very late proceeding the final project deadline. The lies extend passed the boundaries of school work, though. Here are some famous last works, or lies, I tell myself more often than I care to admit in this article.

1. "I'll just watch one more episode."

Who am I kidding? I am lucky if I can cap myself at one more season.

2. "I'll wake up early and do it before class."

Not a chance I wake up early. I barely can make it to class on time because I physically cannot get out of bed in a timely manner. In fact, everyday I do get out of bed is a day to be celebrated.

3. "I can eat this bowl of ice cream and still go for a run today."

No, I really can't.

4. "I'll do an outline for my paper."

There I am, night before my paper is due, sans outline....and sleep.

5. "I'll go out, but I won't drink."

Well, I hate to miss anything, you know?

6. "It's not suppose to rain."

My weather app specifically said it would not be raining and that is always a reliable source.

7. "I'll bring my homework with me to do."

Yes, watching a movie with friends may sound a tad distracting, but I most likely was not going to get anything accomplished alone, either.

8. "I'm going to go to bed early tonight."

Classic.

9. "I can totally drink this entire bag of wine."

Liar.

10. "I'll just get a salad."

Chicken nuggets, french fries, ice cream and a heart attack later I am regretting getting the salad too.

11. "I just won't buy anything."

But then I saw it and needed it. Needed.

I am my own worst enemy.